10/30/06
So, thou hast resorted to alighting on Zoheb's author page? BWAHAHAHA...! Thou shalt never leave this place of nightmares eternal; my hypnotic powers COMPEL you to stay!
...
Still here? Good, I thought that you had left already. Thats what a sensible person would do anyway... which would mean that you are not a sensible person! Good for you! You sound like the sort of person I like to know.
Now, things can only get wierder from here, so just remember that all you have to do is press backspace and you'll be reasonably safe.
SCOREBOARD:Zoheb : 2, Mods: 3
Now then, *rubs hands together* on to the unnecessary personal information! Huzzar!
Name: Chuckles the Flying Skull... no, I'm just joking- or am I?
Date of Birth: 26-10-1992
Lunatic Rating: Not first class. Harmless and taciturn... but only when sleeping.
Personality: Not a very pleasant person. Very emotional and angers easily. Has strange moments when all logic seems to be thrown out the window. Proceed with caution.
Nationality: Bangladeshi. We used to be in first place for Most Corrrupt Country... but no longer. THEY STOLE IT FROM US: OUR PRECIOUS! *Gollum! Gollum!*
Religion: Islam. I like it, so there!
Physical description: What's it to you?
Favorite Activities: Being wierd and random; being taciturn and boring; being intelligent and sarcastic; playing Strategy Games; listening to good music; reading fantasy, crazy sci-fi, general science fiction, thrillers, comedies, comics; sketching; and (My favorite) staring into the distance, silent in my thoughts (Mostly involving apocalyptic battles with lots of lovely dragons slaughtering each other, with the odd horror of Hell thrown in here and there).
Favorite literature: The Lord of the Rings, the Silmarillion, the very inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy, Angels and Demons, Harry Potter, Jurassic Park, Congo, Life of Pi, The Ruby in the Smoke, The Shadow in the North, The Tiger in the Well, The Tin Princess, To Kill a Mockingbird, the Old Kingdom Trilogy, Discworld, AVENGER, P. G. Wodehouse, JOB: A Comedy of Justice, The Wheel of Time series.
Favorite comic series: Asterix
Favorite bands: Opeth, Dream Theater, Tool, Liquid Tension, Porcupine Tree, Pink Floyd, Helloween, A Perfect Circle, In Flames, Queensryche. The full list is quite exhaustive.
Favorite poem: 'Oh freddled gruntbuggly’ (Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz)
Favorite qoutes:
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed"- Marvin (The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)
"Your weasels are untied!"- Rejwanul Islam
"BWAHAHAHAHA (So ad infinitum)"- Any evil lord worth his salt.
"These Romans are crazy!"- Obelix (Asterix)
"What'cha got for me, Billy-bob? "- Myself (Oh, how I long to use it in a proper conversation!)
"Go away: I'm alright..."- H. G. Wells (Last words)
"I'm gaseous, invisible... and deadly"- Undead Shade (Warcraft 3: TFT)
"If there's only one nation in the sky, then shouldn't all passpors be valid for it?"- Piscine Molitor Patel (Life of Pi)
Thank you for taking an interest. By now you should have realized that all your efforts have been for naught, because sleazes like me are running amock all over the place. 'Tis a sad, sad reality of the world.
You can talk to me on msn if you feel like it- just don't bother me too much.
I have decided that you can only be allowed to speak to me after you answer these simple (Oh, don't you just wish they were!) questions:
A) If I were to peel a potato, would I sing "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" or "Take this Life' as I peel it?
B) How many wildebeests am I holding up?
C) Complete this sentence: "Hello, my name is Voldemort and my favorite Pokemon is [Insert name here]".
D) If London was a giant cucumber, then what would Dhaka be? (This is the most important question of them all).
E) Have you ever dreamt about cottage cheese with onions- and a side-order of tuna casserole?
F) Are you still here?
G) Suggest a good name for the star actor in the movie "The Last Dodo Hero."
H) "Dolores Umbridge is so blazin' hot"- if that thought is crossing your mind right now, then stay the Niflheim away from me.
Mail me with the answers, and I will decide whether you are worthy... or else you will be blocked with a titanium wall... bwahahaha...
Goodbye, young rhinoceros: may you graze long and well.
Oh...! As I leave you, I would just like you to read this little ditty I cooked up *clears throat*:
"Oh, Switzerland/ How I dream of thee...!/ Where the sun doth shine,/ and the chocolate is free...!"
CUT! Aaannd that's a wrap!
[Report This]
How Ironic, Mr. Malfoy by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Lucius Malfoy is most infamous for being excessively proud of his ancestry and for his disdain for Muggle-borns. But what if he received a letter that changed everything? Takes place during OotP, and it's AU.
Contains snippets of humour.
For the "Dreams" challenge in the fanfiction beta boards... I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Date: 02/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories
Okay, since you wanted to know, here it is:
STORY TITLE: "GIMME BACK MY HUNDRED TAKA"
Starring:
RAYMEN: A fat idiot with a speech impediment. Travels everywhere with a bag that probably has enough stuff in it to equip an army. "Oi, Nerd!" (The 'd' is pronounced like the 'd' in 'Bangladesh'- which is pronounced like the 'th' in 'the')
MASHARUL: A fat, bespectacled slimeball who will go along with anyone who sits beside him. "Yo yo: the dog is barking."
AADIYAT: Better known as Yellow_and_Dangerous. A rather strange looking fellow with an obnoxiously creepy voice."Look at him... what's he planning?"
ZOHEB: That guy.
THE STORY:
It was Maths Class, and Zoheb was desperately attempting to make his speed graph behave... when all of a sudden he noticed frantic movement around him. Deigning to gaze up, he noticed mesrs Raymen and Masharull engaged in a heated discussion with master Aadiyat. It would appear that Raymen and Masharul were accusing Aadiyat of having stolen their hundred taka (The exchange rate between a dollar and a taka is about 60, against the Taka). They had apparently kidnaped a 4B penci and a calculator from Aadiyat, threatening (With very serious expressions on their visages) that they would chuck 'em into the bin if Aadiyat didn't give them back their hundred taka.
I reached over and just took the calculator and the pencil from their hands. I did'nt even need to snatch them- I just took them...
a few seconds later, master Raymen, with the smug grin of a Scotsman in charge of Manchester United when Manchester United wins an important game, pulled out... my sharpener. He, with smug smiles, yellow teeth, and much clever winking, told Aadiyat that he will "throw your sharpener into the bin".
Reaching over once I again, I calmly disarmed master Raymen of both the sharpener and the notion that it was Aadiyat's sharpener.
At that point, master Raymen blinked, called us 'Nerds', and turned away to gaze fondly at master Masharull.
At that is the end of my tale.
Author's Response: You have a great ability to tell a story, seriously. Most people would just say, \"These two guys were threatening my friend \'cos he wouldn\'t give them a hundred taka, and they were going to throw away his calculator and pencil. So I t00k them away, and then he was about to throw away my sharpener, so I took it away, and then he called us nerds and went away.\"
Date: 02/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories
Now, for your viewing displeasure, I present transcripts from an MSN conversation between me, my cousin, and Yellow and Dangerous (Also called Sponge... or Dishpan, if you prefer)
BEGIN TRASCRIPT
(10:09 PM) Lord Unknown: U, mr Ahmed, have committed much sins, pledge 4 4givnes and mayb He might pardon u
(10:09 PM) Yellow and Dange: whatever
(10:10 PM) Chuckles the Fly: *thumbs up*
(10:11 PM) Lord Unknown: The very Devil will come to claim thy soul
(10:11 PM) Chuckles the Fly: Yeah
(10:11 PM) Chuckles the Fly: What he said!
(10:11 PM) Yellow and Dange: shut up
(10:11 PM) Chuckles the Fly: *thumbs down*
(10:11 PM) Yellow and Dange: and be quiet
(10:11 PM) Chuckles the Fly: *thumbs down*
(10:11 PM) Chuckles the Fly: I say: keep talking
(10:12 PM) Lord Unknown: U hav committed sins Mr. Ahme
(10:12 PM) Yellow and Dange: *Whispering to Chuckles* how about we agree with him and he'll go away?
(10:12 PM) Chuckles the Fly: Not really
(10:12 PM) Lord Unknown: *Ahmed
(10:12 PM) Chuckles the Fly: This is the sort of thing I do
(10:12 PM) Chuckles the Fly: I do'nt want to be a hypocrite
(10:12 PM) Yellow and Dange: i'll observe
(10:13 PM) Lord Unknown: Mr. Aadiyat Ahmed, drop this act of being a nice psychotic guy, God judges u
(10:14 PM) Yellow and Dange: *Bored, sleepy look*
(10:14 PM) Lord Unknown: HOW DARE U YAWN AT ME!
(10:14 PM) Chuckles the Fly: Yeah
(10:14 PM) Chuckles the Fly: What he said!
(10:14 PM) Lord Unknown: THE DEVIL LKS UP TO ME...
(10:14 PM) Chuckles the Fly: I'll be demonic tooo
(10:14 PM) Lord Unknown: Dark is my soul
(10:15 PM) Lord Unknown: Death will serve u right
(10:15 PM) Lord Unknown: *Demonic laugh*
(10:15 PM) Chuckles the Fly: BOW DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(10:15 PM) Lord Unknown: u shall pay...
(10:15 PM) Lord Unknown: Bow b4 the ONE
(10:15 PM) Chuckles the Fly: OBSERVE MY DEMONIC POWERS!
(10:15 PM) Chuckles the Fly: SATAN, EAT YOUR HEART OUT!
(10:16 PM) Lord Unknown: Hmmm... Mr. Aadiyat Ahmed
(10:17 PM) Yellow and Dange: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!!!
(10:17 PM) Lord Unknown: I WANT U TO AMEND UR WAYS!!
(10:18 PM) Yellow and Dange: SHUT UP ABOUT THE STUPID SINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(10:18 PM) Chuckles the Fly: Hehe this is kinda funny
(10:18 PM) Lord Unknown: BEG 4 FORGIVNESS
(10:18 PM) Chuckles the Fly: BOW DOWN!
(10:20 PM) Chuckles the Fly: You have made Lucifer proud
(10:20 PM) Lord Unknown: EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
(10:20 PM) Chuckles the Fly: He will give you a big hug next time the two of you meet
(10:20 PM) Lord Unknown: Witch, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnn herrrrrrrrrrr
(10:21 PM) Chuckles the Fly: Sponges are asexual, Lord Unknown [YAD's Display picture is a pic of Spongebob]
(10:21 PM) Lord Unknown: who care, burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
(10:21 PM) Yellow and Dange: [ahem] "Warlock" and "HIM"
(10:21 PM) Yellow and Dange: not witch!
(10:21 PM) Lord Unknown: Hmm... LIAR!!!
END TRANSCRIPT
Well, i hope that didn't make sense.
Author's Response: Don\'t worry, it didn\'t!
Date: 01/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories
Goody goody gumdrops!
Author's Response: Why thank you!
Date: 02/05/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories
Hedwig, it will appear that you are an Aquarius, or a Percy if there ever was one. You "use." (The internet)
I "Desire" (A better PC)
Schmergo "Is" (An excellent writer)
Madelynn "Seeks" (World domination)
Yellow_and_Dangerous "Is" (A Sponge)
Author's Response: ^_^ That makes me smile in a manner much resembling that little emoticon I just typed.
Date: 02/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Owls Become Lucius's Hair Accessories
So the owl and the Swede hunger for spoons? And here I was thinking that what I saw at the end of school today was strange...
What exactly did I see at the end of school today? Tell you about it if you want to know.
Author's Response: SPPOOOOONNNNZZZ.... YUMMM...
I really do want to know what you saw at the end of school today. Yesterday I saw a 50-something year old gym teacher attempting to breakdance, but that\'s not too interesting. He does that everyday.
Date: 02/16/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: In Which Our Hero Is Terrorized By A Doorbell
'The Redemption of Lucius Malfoy.' I love this chapter. It's short and to the point. And what a point!
Quite nicely done! I want this to win the Dreams thingy, really I do. (And this has nothing to do with me not having my own submission, although I'm thinking about entering).
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Zoheb. I always appreciate your opinions on my stories, and since this was a really nice opinion, I appreciate it a lot!
I hope it wins, too, and this has everything to do with it being my own submission. ^_^ It would be cool if you entered, though
Lord Voldemort and the Deathly Hallows by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Lord Voldemort made a deal with someone who even he considers superior, and if he doesn't fulfill his side of it, then he'll be mortal again!
I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff house, and this is my submission for the Deathly Hallows prompt in the New Year's Challenge.
Although this story's a one-shot for the challenge, I may add more chapters after the contest is over.
EDIT: Dude! This story came in second in the "Deathly Hallows" prompt of the New Years' Challenge! So, let's do the "2nd Place Dance!" (It's a lot like the Cha-Cha slide.)
Date: 02/23/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
Hehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehe (Sequence repeats itself for 36 seconds, stops, then does it again.)
This quite good. I'll be really interested in the future chapters! Just how many of them are you going to have?
The thing that really tickled me about this story is that's so unplausible and bureacratic. A Horcrux Registration Office is quite a nice thought...
And speaking of Horcruxes, is it just me or do i detect a bit of Jeremiah Friars in Mortimer Deathly?
Anyway, I'll sum it all up again by saying it's good and I'm looking forward to the future chapters.
Author's Response: Thanks, Zoheb! I always like receiving your critique. I don\'t know how many chapters it will have... probably more than \"The Dark Lord\'s Blog,\" but way less than any real Harry Potter book.
Hmmm... I don\'t know who Jeremiah Friars is, so it probably IS just you.
The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)
Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.
With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.
Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.
If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.
This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!
Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)
EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
Date: 05/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.
This chapter's like a revolving door. A joke hits, we laugh and try to recover when POW! Another one comes along and socks us. We attempt to find our bearings again, when suddenly- here's another one shouting 'Say muh name! say muh name!' and pounds us.
And this keeps happening till the very end. This is an effect hard to achieve, and quite a brilliant effect too. You have our respect.
Author's Response: Hahaha, when I first started reading this review, I was convinced it was criticism, and that\'s because it was preying on my insecurities. I thought maybe it was a bit too jokey. But if you liked it-- and you\'re definitely a genius in the art of humour-- then maybe I can be a bit more secure! On a totally unrelated note, I was just singing \"say my name\" right before checking reviews, so that was a tad astonishing.
Date: 04/06/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World
Good, good, gooooood...
I can just feel Voldemort's misery. What a brave man, going down the line of duty like that! WHY? WHY? WHY-Y-Y-Y?
I will take you at your word that the nxt chapter will be better, because if it is, that'll be quite something.
Author's Response: Hooray, hooray for Zoheb! And yep, actually interesting stuff happens in the next few chapters.
Oh No, Nott Again! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Our boy Theodore Nott thinks he’s signed up for a position in the Department of Mysteries. Little does he know that he’s been roped into something a bit more… deathly.
Rollicking fun, dry commentary, suspense, and heavy doses of surrealism with the Grim Reaper and company, including a surprise guest at the end. Written for the Gauntlet challenge by Schmerg_The_Impaler of the grand house of Hufflepuff.
Technically a companion piece to “To Be Or Nott To Be,” but who’s counting? It also stands on its own just as well.
Looks like the judges got drunk again, because they were insane enough to give this story Second Place in the gauntlet. Somewhere, all the famous dead writers are rolling over in their graves, but I, for one, am feeling very squeeful at this undeserved reward! Thanks, judges!
Date: 06/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Your writing continues to impress. That's not a very original thing to say, I know, but I've told you things centered on that theme so many times that I'm getting tired of finding out new ways to say it. Forgive me; you may clap me in irons.
I especially enjoyed the concept. Theodore Nott: the Grim Reaper. Never heard the like of it in my life. As a matter of fact, reading your story was a good moment, a moment I can try to recall during the oncoming week (Final Exams... huzar). Thank you.
And just in case you didn't catch it first time: your writing continues to impress.
Author's Response: Zoheb, you always make me feel warm and fuzzy (and occasionally pleasantly weirded out) with your reviews. I have final exams next week, too, so writing the story was a nice break from it! Cheers!
A Quest For Ice Cream by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Ever wondered why Florean Fortescue was taken by the Death Eaters?
Lord Voldemort is on the quest to find the best, evilest flavour of ice cream, and he will stop at nothing to get it.
This is a very short, very silly and quite OOC little one-shot written as consolation for the fact that "E-Journal" is on hiatus. It's based on a prompt given to me by the ridiculously talented Inigoenigma.
Nominated for Best Humour fic in the Quicksilver Quills awards!
Date: 08/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!
Aha aha aha aha aha! 'Tis amusing! And silly! And retarded! Which is what you were going for, yes?( |:D)
SPAM ALERT: "Sensors indicate Spam approaching at an alarming speed... can we kiil it?"
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/HowTo:Bend_a_spoon
Okkie?
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Zoheb! Amusing, and silly, and retarded is basically my goal in life! Except for possibly the third one sometimes....
And yes, the world is becoming a DISTURBINGLY spammy place.
Stubby by Hermiones_Revenge
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: “What people don’t realize is that Sirius Black is a false name...the man people believe to be Sirius Black is actually Stubby Boardman...
Kingsley Shacklebolt is sent to question Stubby Boardman, a former pop singer who has lost his luster. A simple task? So it would seem...
Date: 08/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Stubby
Pretty good, pretty good. A story with no real significance to the overall Harry Potter plot! Just the way we like it!
*Thumbs up... four of them.*
Author's Response: Those are the best kinds.
The Dark Lord's Eulogy: An Odious Ode by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: This fanfiction writer laments the loss of her favourite dark lord in a re-donk-ulous poem.
This is not very complimentary to Volders, so don't tell him about it if you see him around, okay?
Deathly Hallows spoilers.
Four times nominated for Best Poem in the Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Date: 08/03/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!
We shall indeed miss the lad. He had such a nose for trouble... *sniff*.
Author's Response: Or rather, he had a place where the nose SHOULD be for trouble.
Home Improvement by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: When Ron Weasley is promoted to a rather high rank in the Auror business, his mother congratulates him by informing him that it's high time he found a place of his own.
Ron may be quite good at his job as an Auror, but he now faces the most difficult challenge of all...
Ridiculously short one-shot that I wrote for some challenge about a year ago and never submitted. It's also my first one-shot that's not about Voldemort and the Death Eaters! Gasp!
Date: 04/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
It is just too bad Master Potter couldn't finish that thought; it would have been very instructive and would have explained many things about his world which had hitherto been utterly incomprehnsible to his rather unimpressive mind. But what the hell.
How are you my good woman?
Oh, and I enjoyed the story. A pleasant little read.
Author's Response: Whoa, Zoheb! How lovely to see you again about the site! I am just fine, thanks. And... when I submit the next chapter of one of my stories, you will actually be specifically mentioned in the Author\'s Note for teaching me the word \"Niflheim,\" without which said story would not exist. So it\'s interesting that you should show up around here just when I was typing your name. HMmmmm.
A Lily in Death by Angela_Prongs
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: During the war, an imprisoned Luna ponders her looming death. This is not violent, morbid, scary, nothin'. I really think you should read it.
Date: 04/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: A Lily in Death
Hmm... pretty deep, this. The whole lily business is all very lovely and poetic-like, and the treacle tart business is jarringly chuckle-inducing. I COMMEND THEE! Come over here so that I can slap your back and maybe even knock you off your chair, eh what?
And yes, I AM still around. Jolly good, yes?
Author's Response: Ho, there! Look who it is! A strange lad come to knock me off my chair by ways of, what\'s this? Slapping? Well then! If that\'s how it\'s done...\r\n\r\nYou\'re still here! Woot! As for poetic-like, well, you really think so? Because honestly, it\'s more like an essay, right? :P /friendly sarcasm Thank you for reviewing! Glad you\'re still here. XD\r\n\r\nPS Did you know that you can delete reviews now? Gasp!
Long-Distance Extendable Ears by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Fred is dead.
But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...
Oh, the possibilities!
Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Date: 12/24/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only
The concept was truly inspired, and the story expertly handled. It was everything it should have been and more. I must say, "In your underwear drawer" goes above and beyond the call of duty.
You done good, kid.
Author's Response: ZOHEB! YOU'RE ALIVE! *Faints of glee* Incidentally, thank you so much for that lovely review.
Out of the Darkness by Tim the Enchanter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: The war against Voldemort is not going well. The Ministry of Magic has fallen and the Order of the Phoenix is scattered. Harry Potter and his friends are ruthlessly hunted by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. There is no end in sight for our heroes…
BUT SUDDENLY, OUT OF THE DARKNESS, ABSURDITY INTERVENES!
-
Nominated for QSQ 2008 Best Humour Story!
Date: 12/27/08 Title: Chapter 1: Out of the Darkness...
HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHEHEHAHEHEHEE!
No, I really laugh like that. It's the illustration that did it. Beautiful acompaniment to a wonderfully-written story. You have class, you have style, you have humorously-bad handwriting.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the review and for liking this story! Just so you know, you’re not the only one who is appalled by my handwriting! Believe it or not, it used to be neat and tidy, but I have long since forgotten how to write like that, so everything I write by hand is nigh unintelligible! I actually kind of like my handwriting, because I’m the only person who seems to be able to read it with any kind of ease – plus I think it looks cool. It looks… rushed and insane!
Tim the Enchanter
Date: 12/27/08 Title: Chapter 2: My Goodness My Guiness!
A hero unlike any other.
Author's Response:
How can we ever thank Benjamin Dover enough for what he did that night? I know! Draw a picture of him! Just copy and paste the following thing into that URL address whatever you call it:
http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn34/Pseudonym_Sam/BenjaminDover.jpg?t=1228193106
That reminds me… I should put this at the end of this chapter, too…
Anyway, thanks for the review!
Date: 12/27/08 Title: Chapter 3: The Great Chocolate War of ‘98
I love the humour in this story. It's sophisticated and intelligent. There's a lot more to say about it, but I can't find the words.
Author's Response:
Remember, if you're lost for words, you can always say “Bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!” Anyway, thanks for the lovely comments!
Tim the Enchanter
Date: 12/27/08 Title: Chapter 4: Epic Ephemeral Epilogue
The most brilliant thing about this story is how it shifts effortlessly from ludicrous to angry, with the writing remaining strong throughout. Hats off to you, Master Tim.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much for reviewing this story all the way through, Zoheb! Plus, I am very glad you liked this story and its mechanics. If you’re interested in more ludicrous stories, you might also want to read The Absurd Fanfic Revolution, which is probably the weirdest and must surreal fic I’ve written!
Tim the Enchanter