06/22/09
soraya786.livejournal.com
Hi there! I’m Soraya. I’m seventeen years old and am a proud Muslim British Bangladeshi. I live in East London and have loved reading and writing from a young age. I’m rather obsessed with Harry Potter (aren’t we all?), tea (not a surprise considering I’m a Brit) and good grammar. Recently, I've also got into the Supernatural fandom. After watching the first episode, I had already fallen head over heels in love with Sam Winchester, so it's no surprise that I am now a huge SPN fangirl as well as a Potterhead.
My writing has changed quite a bit over the years, and I think you'll probably notice that, the further down my author page you go, the more the quality seems to drop :P I started posting stories on here at the age of fourteen, and at nearly eighteen, I can see how much my writing has improved since those Dark Ages. So, for that reason, I would advise you stick to the more recent stuff, if you choose to read anything of mine.
My Stories
Just so you know, these are posted firstly according to what kind of pairing, if any, is in the story, and then in chronological order in accordance to my own canon, not necessarily the order in which they were posted.
Canon Pairings
Checkmate (James/Lily)
My first chaptered fic. It’s terribly written, but I still have a place in my heart for it because of how much fun it was to write. This story has now been deleted on MNFF, but if you really, really want to read it, you can still find it on FF.net and HPFF. (I advise you don't, though :P)
Second Childishness and Mere Oblivion (James/Lily)
Written for Round One (Major Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon, this one-shot is about James and Lily’s relationship getting rockier and rockier after they left Hogwarts, especially when Lily is faced with the trials of being a wife and motherhood. A little smutty.
My Love is Always Here (James/Lily)
This was a belated birthday present for the wonderful Gina/Gmariam, aka the queen of James/Lily. This is mostly about Lily dealing with becoming a mother for the first time and the problems (as well as the joys) that come with that.
There's an Answer (Remus/Tonks)
Written for Sophie/The owl for SPEW Summer Swap IV. Tonks is sent on an interesting baby Auror assignment to do with werewolves. Remus and a dangerous Muggle are thrown into the mix, with interesting results.
Left Behind (Remus/Tonks)
An expanded version of one of my LoveNotes, written for SPEW. It's a missing moment set between OOTP and HBP, where in my head canon Remus and Tonks have been together, in secret, for a few weeks already and Remus is then told to go on his werewolf mission. Slightly smutty.
One and Only (Remus/Tonks)
Written for the lovely Alex/Ithinkrabis2people in the Ravenclaw Christmas Drabble Exchange. This is a missing moment set just after Tonks’s outburst to Remus in the hospital wing at the end of HBP.
Out of My Life (Harry/Ginny)
My only AU (kind of). I tweaked a small part of canon in this -- basically, Harry actually said goodbye to Ginny properly when he broke up with her. Very angsty, and this is only up for sentimental reasons, as I wrote it during The Dark Ages (aka when I was fourteen).
A Different Kind of Magic (Harry/Ginny)
Written for the You’re Having My Baby challenge at SIYE. Ginny finds out she’s pregnant, but Harry receives the news before her and therefore has to tell his wife. This was my first ever story at MNFF. It was written when I was thirteen, and it definitely shows.
A Different Kind of Magic 2: Parenthood (Harry/Ginny)
A sequel, obviously, to A Different Kind of Magic. Ginny goes into labour, and both Harry and Ginny realise what it means to be parents. Again, this was written from Back in the Days.
Same-Sex Pairings
The Caustic Ticking of the Clock (Rowena/Helga)
Written for the Great Hall Cotillion, this story is my only Founders story so far, and it’s about Rowena and Helga’s secret relationship. I am proud of this one, which doesn’t usually happen :)
Catching Fire (James/Sirius)
This was written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Embers”, and it’s set just after Remus’s second transformation with the Marauders. James is badly injured, and he and Sirius realise, inadvertently, that they might just have feelings for each other. I like the pairing but still think the story needs work. One day I will go back and edit.
Flicker and Fail (Katie/Leanne)
This was written forSecret SPEW, and my recipient was the absolutely fabulous Alex/welshdevondragon. It’s my take on Leanne and Katie’s relationship from way before they were even at Hogwarts as well as what eventually happens to Katie in HBP, when she was cursed.
Next Generation
Skinny Love (Louis/Lily)
Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion. Set during Teddy and Victoire's wedding, Louis helps Lily come to terms with her bulimia. This one was pretty difficult to write.
Blood and Roses (Scorpius/Rose, Scorpius/Dominique, Dominique/OC)
Written for the Great Hall Mysterious Maychallenge, this was my first Next Generation fic about Scorpius, mostly, and the trials he faces after his daughter is murdered.
Broken Glass (Louis/Lily)
This is the story of when Loulily really began. After the deaths of his immediate family, Louis is finding it hard to cope, even six months later. Lily somehow helps. It’s a little smutty. I’m proud of this one, too :)
The Highway of Regret (Scorpius/Lily, Scorpius/Rose, Louis/Lily)
Also written for the Great Hall Cotillion. It’s my one and only Scily. This is all about secret relationships and mistakes people make. Lily’s angry at Louis, and Scorpius has just broken up with Rose; when Lily gets drunk in the pub, things... happen. :P
I Will Lay Down My Heart (Albus/Rose, Scorpius/Rose)
Written for Round Two (Minor Characters) of Madam Pomfrey’s Character Clinic Triathlon. Albus has been in love with Rose for years, but what happened with them when they were younger has put a dent in their relationship. It doesn’t help that Rose is actually in love with Scorpius, either. This is smutty too.
One More Night (Albus/Rose, Rose/Scorpius)
Companion piece to I Will Lay Down My Heart. This goes into more detail about Rose and Albus's changing relationship as well as the aftermath of the events in said companion story. Probably the smuttiest thing on my page. :D Written for the Great Hall Cotillion 2013.
Glass (Louis/Lily)
This was written for the Great Hall-iday challenge for the Operation: Mistletoe prompt, and this was where my love for Loulily began.
Poetry
Excruciatingly Painful
This is about how five men in Potterverse dealt with remorse in different ways.
Always
This poem is about how Remus feels about Sirius (not slashy, btw).
Regret
Written for the Magic in Music challenge over inPoetry, Anyone? This was set to the track “Obliviate” in DH1 and is about Hermione modifying her parents’ memories.
Farewell
Written for the Goodbyechallenge in Poetry, Anyone? This was about saying goodbye, and how difficult it could be.
After All This Time
Written for the Deathly Hallows challenge inPoetry, Anyone?. I ship unrequited Snape/Lily, and this is probably the only time Snape will be on my author page, lol.
Hush, Dominique
Written for the MC Kreacher challenge inPoetry, Anyone? This was written from the POV of Bill Weasley after his wife’s death.
Miscellaneous
Bruises
Written for the Great Bannermakers’ Hallchallenge. The banner I picked had Merope Gaunt on it, and it’s probably my darkest story; it’s definitely the only one to have a dubious consent warning. It’s about, as you might guess, the abuse Merope suffered from her father and brother.
In Care (Marlene/OC)
Marlene McKinnon, as a care kid, eventually falls in love with another care kid, Jamal Olawumi. But he's a Muggle, and keeping her world secret proves difficult. This is definitely a story I would like to revisit and tidy up.
Just Across the Bar (Sirius/Rosmerta)
Sirius is just about of age, but obviously Rosmerta has misgivings about having feelings for Sirius, who is still a student. Written for the 2013 Great Hall Cotillion and also smutty.
Butterbeer Bottles
Written for SPEW 007. My prompt was “Juggling”, and it’s just a silly piece of dialogue-only banter between Remus and Sirius. Sirius realises Remus likes Tonks, and he tries to persuade Remus to act on his feelings.
Hanging by a Thread (Katie/Oliver)
Written for the lovely Jess/ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor for Secret SPEW VII. Katie is grieving and drowning her sorrows in alcohol and Oliver is trying his best to save Muggles, while trying also to bury feelings for Katie that he thought he had long since forgotten about. There is also, surprise surprise, some smut in this.
And that’s it! Along with being a moderator, I’m also a member of SPEWand SBBC. I hope to see you around on the forums; feel free to contact me via PM or review if you have any questions or comments about my stories!
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The Space Between by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
Megan Jones had managed to successfully dodge all the normal pitfalls of adulthood: marriage, children, and the need to impress anyone. She didn't understand why everyone insisted that she was miserable, when she was, in fact, enjoying her current lifestyle.
Who would've thought one night could change everything?
Date: 11/27/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Squee, Jess! Here I was, feeling very down and craving a good bit of fanfic, and I remembered you mentioned somewhere that you invented Megan/Charlie, so I thought I'd trawl through your author page and find the story :)
And once again, you have converted me! Megan Jones is a character I've never really considered, because I honestly can't remember when she was mentioned in the books. But you wrote her so well, and her characterisation was such an interesting interpretation of what she could have been like.
Also, I liked how you wrote the tension between them, especially considering the fact that they just met, lol. Anyway, lovely story, useless review from me, hehe. Well done :)
~Soraya~
Author's Response:
And here I thought my notifications were working again >.>
Glad you liked it. To me, the 30-somethings who are independent are a woefully underrepresented demographic in fanfic. And, of course, I couldn't let this go unremedied. Megan is that person people always talk about behind her back, speculating why she's alone and simply not accepting that she chooses to be. In a way, she's probably the closest I've come to self-insertion in fanfic, because I'm that way myself. I understand that drive to not compromise my wants and values for the sake of companionship.
Charlie and Megan's story will be continued soon (though hopefully before Lea's next birthday, hehe), in which we find out whether Megan really does go to Romania and why Charlie doesn't want to go home.
And this was so not a useless review. It made me smile and nod to myself that this was one of my favourite things I'd written this year. :D
~Jess
Haunting Shame by MerrryD
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
Death.
Date: 05/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Haunting Shame
Wow. Wow. Mere, this was so hauntingly beautiful in terms of its style. Never before have I read something that took my breath away so much simply by you wrote it. Your words were so carefully selected and in general, this piece was just gorgeous.
You wrote in third person present tense -- which I always thought was a rather difficult style, and yet you pulled it off and made it look effortless, so well done on that. The use of present tense made me feel more in the moment, and even though it was written in third person, I still felt a personal connection to Percy, especially as the story progressed. I really felt in touch with his emotions throughout, and the way you portrayed Percy's guilt, his self-hate, his regret -- you just nailed it, Mere. And I congratulate you on that.
Before I continue dishing out the praise, I'll get the nitpicks out of the way. You had a few typos, such as:
It if wasn’t for the look Mum had given him
I'm assuming you meant to write:
If it wasn't for the look Mum had given him
Then:
He sits there are stares at George.
I think you meant:
He sits there and stares at George.
The nineteen-year-old witch fixed her blue eyes on him piercingly.
You used the past tense here, and I think you were meant to use the present, as in:
The nineteen-year-old witch fixes her blue eyes on him piercingly.
"Firewhiskey" should always be capitalised, as far as I know.
Finally (as far as nitpicks are concerned) the use of "Mum" instead of "Molly" or "Mrs Weasley", given that this is written in third person, seemed a little odd, to me. But maybe you were trying to add to the personal feel of the story? I don't know.
Percy's characterisation, I think, was spot on. The fact that he couldn't bear to look at George because he looked exactly like Fred...oh, that was just awful. But you nailed it. (And of course, I meant awful in a good way, if that's possible.) What I really liked was that you didn't get all the Weasleys to just forgive him like that. They were all still uncomfortable with him. No surprises there. And then George's reaction to Percy was just so terrible. So terribly accurate. And he was portrayed brilliantly -- as a grieving twin, one who had lost his other half, in a way. I think you really hit the mark with George. His demeanour was so flat and grief-stricken, which is just so realistic, even if it is more than a little depressing.
Percy trying to drown his sorrows in drink is not unexpected. I'm really glad you confronted the not-so-nice aspects of life in this fic, because it held true to both canon and RL. I know you were saying in the controversial topics discussion in SPEW that if they have a place in RL, they should have a place in fanfiction too, and you displayed this brilliantly and sensitively here.
By the way, I don't normally comment on summaries, but yours was an amazing one. I find it so difficult to write summaries, and I have to say that your ones are so very intriguing -- and they most definitely live up to the actual story! One thing that I do have to mention is that you didn't have a strong profanity warning. Now, I have no problems with strong language, since I use it quite regularly in my fics (but not that much in RL) but still, I think it would've been good to have a warning.
I really liked Harry's comment about the gnomes, and the whole meeting in the Hog's Head about remembering the fallen was very well done. What I like the most about this fic, Mere, is that you've not made it cliched or anything. More often than not, I read Post-Hogwarts stories when straight after the battle, everyone acts like they're on happy pills or something. It's ridiculous and certainly not realistic, given how many casualties there were in the battle. So I really loved how you portrayed the grief of the survivors in this fic, because it was a far truer portrayal than a lot of Post-battle fics. You've managed to interweave your stunning prose with your great characterisation and your incredibly moving plot, making me sympathise with a character that I never liked very much until the end of DH when he appeared. And for that, I commend you highly and thank you for writing such a wonderful story.
~Soraya~
Author's Response: AHHHHH thank you SO much for this wonderful review, Soraya! I think I'm still blushing from all your praise. I'm so glad that the present tense comes off as effortless because it really wasn't! The opening line came to me in present tense, but the through out the rest of it I had to constantly remind myself I was writing in present, not past. >.> Thank you for those nitpicks. I'm *facepalm*ing repeatedly for missing some of those. I'm glad you like my summary! I pride myself a little bit on my summaries, so it's always good to hear that someone likes them. :D As for the warning, though, this story is rated 6th-7th years and I think there's only one particularly strong word... Or maybe I just swear too much, haha. I'm glad that you pointed out the gnome part because it's one of my favourites, but it's also one of the parts that I was a little unsure of how it would be received. :D Thank you so much again for this fantastic review. It makes me so happy to know that this story came across as a realistic portrayal of the aftermath of the Battle. :) <3Mere
Bicie Serca by BlueJoker
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Sofia seeks refuge within the walls of Hogwarts from the bloodied and terror-filled streets of Krakow. Yet she is not entirely welcomed. The moment she reaches the cold shores of England she experiences jealousy, loss of identity, the perils of war and the question of her right to exist.
Nominated for Best Historical in the QSQs 2011.
Date: 06/14/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three, The Acceptance
Oooh! I knew Sofia would be going to Hogwarts eventually. I really like Dumbledore's characterisation here, by the way. Almost always in fanfiction, even after DH came out, Dumbledore's portrayed as a really, really nice guy. But in your story, you've shown he has flaws and he's not as perfect as he might seem.
As usual, your description is lovely and I'm really, really enjoying this story so far. It's a shame there haven't been many reviews for this, but I think that this is a very underrated story. Well done and looking forward to the next chapter!
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your ridiculously kind words! Your reviews really motivated me and I've just completed chapter five, hopefully chapter four should be validated soon xx
Date: 06/19/11 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Five, The Arrival
Oooh, this was good! As usual, I'm sort of on the go while reading this, so it won't be long. I liked the way you began it with the dream and everything -- it was an interesting way to start a chapter. And the idea of Kindertransport sounds great!
Dumbledore has been characterised really well too and once again, your description is definitely your strong point, although I have to say, I think Mrs Brigham is more than a little annoying. Lovely chapter again!
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Aha, you'll learn to love her! She's not all bad! She has a rather interesting daughter. I'm glad you liked the chapter; I really look forward to your reviews, they're always so nice :) Thank you so much for reading xxx Good luck with your exams!
Date: 06/14/11 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four, The Train
I don't have much time but this was a great chapter! This was an authentic chapter and it was very well written. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It's just lovely knowing you've kept coming back for more!
Date: 07/09/11 Title: Bicie Serca
This was possibly the best chapter yet. A lot more went on, and I really think Sofia is very well fleshed out as an OC. I've come to like Mrs Brigham, although as a Muslim, I did sympathise with Sofia when she didn't want to eat the bacon sandwich, even though meat was difficult to get hold of as it was during the war.
I think that as we move on in the story, Sofia will prove to us that she can wheedle her way into anything -- she certainly managed to persuade Mrs Brigham in this chapter. I reckon it'll prove to be one of Sofia's talents. And I love how you haven't suddenly got them speaking perfect English -- it takes a while for you to learn no matter how young you are.
I have a feeling the Polish students will be facing a lot more grief from their fellow pupils, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Update soon, and well done!
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thank you very much, that's a lovely review. The bacon sandwich is actually pretty important as the fiction progresses, as strange as that may seem, and you are spot on with Sofia's talent! She's very good with persuasion and words.
Thank you for your lovely review. :)
Date: 06/13/11 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two, The Rejection
Wow. Your writing is so poetic in its description -- it's an art that not many writers have, so kudos for that.
I loved your characterisation of Dippet. It was very well done and you gave him a good character, basing it on what we saw in CoS. I also thought that Dumbledore's was really interesting, especially the way he referred to Grindelwald. I found this really intriguing, the way his mindset was still in Greater Good mode.
And then they rejected her! Somehow I have a feeling she'll just turn up there anyway and get a job in Hogwarts or something. Or at least in Hogsmeade. Hmm. I think you've done a great job on Sofia so far, same with her parents, and the ending of this chapter was just beautiful. Like I said, you have the rare talent of making your descriptions poetic and just... gorgeous.
My only suggestion at the moment is to make chapters longer. This chapter is pretty short, and while I adored the ending of this one, I do think that it'd do you good to join maybe two of them together. But it's your choice, at the end of the day -- your story, after all.
This was a great chapter and I'm interested in the plot development from here. You have taken a never-used-before premise of a Muggleborn Polish Jew and that in itself takes a lot of courage. I think you did a great job so far and this story deserves far more reviews than it has received so far. I'll probably get round to reviewing again tomorrow and then I'll be up to date :)
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thank you so much! The chapters do get progressively longer, there's one in the queue now that's about 2000 words I believe, and the one I'm writing now is currently at 2000, with more to come! Sofia will get to Hogwarts eventually as a student, but hey, I can't make it easy for her ;)
Thank you so much for your kind review! It's really nice to know that I have a loyal reader out there :)
Witch Switch by Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: When Sirius's plans for Hogsmeade backfire, he ends up taking Lily Evans to Madam Puddifoot's instead, only to find James is not at all happy to see them sharing a tart. And when James's date kisses Sirius, Lily storms off as well, leaving him on the floor covered in chocolate. Yet things are even more complicated than they seem…
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3, Marauder Era.
Date: 07/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot
Aaaah, I loved this, Gina. I'm sorry, I can't leave much more of a coherent review after such an LOL-worthy story. Hahahaahahaahaha. That was hilarious, and it's made me love Sirily. Wonderful :D
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Soraya! I'm glad you enjoyed this and had a good laugh. I had a good laugh writing it too. I have to admit I'm sort of intrigued by Sirily (don't let Carole hear me say that, lol!) so it was fun to play with that here. Thanks so much for the review, and for the nomination! ~Gina :)
Lockhart, Sprout and Two Smoking Goblets by Equinox Chick, Gmariam
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Humiliated in front of the entire school by the purple-faced Pomona Sprout, Gilderoy Lockhart plots a grand revenge. His weapon of choice - a goblet full to the brim with steaming cocoa.
But has he underestimated the redoubtable Head of Hufflepuff House?
This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw and Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 2 - Don't You Dare Prank Me!.
Disclaimer: We are not JK Rowling. If we had been, then there'd be far more stories about the Marauders in print.
This story is dedicated to our flist - especially the lovely Natalie (hestiajones). Enjoy!
Thanks for the on-the-hoof beta job, hestiajones.
Giddling madly, our story has been nominated for a 2011 QSQ for 'Best Darn Story Ever On The Archives' - okay, I mean Best HumoUr.
Date: 10/29/11 Title: Chapter 1: My Kingdom for a Broomstick
Wooow. I was laughing through the whole thing! Seriously, the end just had me in stitches. Definitely cheered me up today :D
I don't know what to say! This was just so funny and I thought Lockhart's characterisation was spot on, as was Pomona's and Minerva's. Snape's, however... I was a bit confused at the end. Did he... you know... with Lockhart? LOL.
Excellently written, Carole and Gina. You guys need to collaborate more often XD
Author's Response: I consulted with my literary partner in fanfiction crime about our reply. She said I had to make it clever .... Um, no idea, I'm not a Claw - LOL. Ah, the end. The little twist in the tail. The love that dare not speak its name between a man with greasy locks and a buffoon who spends more on his hair products than Scabior on eye-liner. Snape basically fancied Lockhart - achingly so - and this was his only chance. ha ha ha. Thank youuuuuu ~Carole and Gina ~
Mirrors by Equinox Chick
Rated: Professors •
Summary: It's 2012 and for Charlie Weasley, life in Romania with his dragons is good. Okay, his mum doesn't stop nagging him about his love-life, but at least she's not attacking his hair with scissors. The only cloud is the Ministry of Magic's threat to slash their funding. What Charlie needs to do is charm the visiting Ministry official. Unfortunately, he hadn't expected it to be his brother's prim ex-girlfriend.
Will she slash his budget? Or can he make her change her mind?
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the April Fool's Challenge ~ Prompt #3 Next Gen.
A huge thank you to Sarah (SapphireatDawn) for beta'ing this at record speed.
Inspiration for this pairing came from Julia - she features in the fic ... sort of ...
Disclaimer: You must know by now that I'm not JK Rowling.
Date: 03/16/12 Title: Chapter 2: Full Pelt
Carole, I loved this! (I mentioned on the LS about how I don't review everything I read -- well, this is one of them. *hangs head in shame*)
Anywho, what an original rarepair. I never, ever would have thought that Charlie and Penelope had any kind of connection, but you made the pairing so believable. I liked how Penelope was frosty to begin with, but then she loosened up eventually, with a good old drink, ha ha.
Charlie is one character in the fandom who I've seen with so many different people -- Parvati (in Alex's The Winged Lion -- dunno if you've read that but tis excellent), Oliver, and, of course, Tonks. I liked the mention of Charlie/Tonks too, actually; after reading Apparently Asleep, hehe.
Oh, and I loved the ending. It was quite open, but from the mentions of Charlope in some of your other work, they do get together in the end. Yay to that :D I'd love to see a sequel, actually, but no pressure of course.
Fab story, Carole!
Author's Response: Thank you. Julia suggested the pairing ages ago on LJ when I was scratching around for a challenge. I like Charlie and the thought of him being with Percy's ex (who sadly gets tarred with the same brush as Percy, poor lamb) interested me.
There should be a sequel, I do have one very clearly in mind, and yes, there are hints of Charlope in High and ... um ... Jominique (another sequel possibly). I have read The Winged Lion (not sure I finished it, actually, so must check that out) and I've read some Charlie/Olivers. I like Charlope too much now to switch, but pre-each other they can have all the fun in the world - heh heh heh.
Thank you very much for reviewing ~Carole~
Saving Dominique by U-No-Poo
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Dominique Weasley’s life is a mess. At seventeen years of age, she’s in her final year at Hogwarts, and things couldn’t be going any worse. She’s failing most of her NEWT classes, her perfect mother is driving her crazy, she’s practically a magnet for trouble and she hates Felix Thomas with a burning passion.
And now she’s pregnant.
Date: 04/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: A Heart Attack
This was an interesting start to the story. I once read a story when Lily got pregnant, but never Dominique. She's quite a minor character, and I think you fleshed her out quite well. Having said that, Rose, in this chapter, was a little...monotonous. She was just sort of...there. I hope you characterise her more in the next chapter, because I think you have an intriguing story here despite that. Oh, also, slight nitpick:
"He's gonna get his ass kicked by..."
It should be "arse" and not "ass" because Dominique is British, not American. And I'm not entirely crazy about the "gonna" but that's your choice, I suppose.
Anyway, nitpicks aside, I'll be interested to see where you go from here, as overall it was a good start.
~Soraya~
Author's Response:
Soraya,
Thanks for your review! I get what you mean with the ass/arse thing though, but I stand by the 'gonna', just because its so informal and it's just what Dom is like. Rose is too blah in this chapter, I agree. I'll definitely be characterising her more, just not the next chapter, because she's not really in it.
I actually did read the pregnant Lily one - A Moment, A Love by jenny b? That's turning into quite a good story, but other than the concept of teenage pregnancy, it doesn't really have much to do with Saving Dominique. I've also read a pregnant Rose one. I don't think, if I'd chosen Lily or Rose, that they could have done my storyline justice.
Anyway thanks for the criticism! Every little bit helps; I'm trying to get this fic just right!
~ Jordy
Strictly Business by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
Hannah Abbott was up to her eyeballs in a business she scarcely knew how to run. Out of money and sleep deprived, all she could do was grind out day after day, but she couldn't last forever that way.
And then Neville walked into her pub and into her life. Things might've started looking up, after all.
Date: 04/21/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
First of all, happy birthday, Lori!
I'm always in the mood for some Neville/Hannah, and I was squeeeing when I read this, Jess :) I just loved how touchy-feely Neville was, and the best thing was, he wasn't even aware of it, so I couldn't even blame the poor boy. This obviously isn't a SPEW review, more a squee one, but I hope you don't mind. I just woke up to this, so I just had to let you know how great it was. But that's no surprise, since you wrote it ;)
I hope you write another Neville/Hannah soon!!
~Soraya~
Author's Response:
Actually, I've been sitting on this plot bunny for a while, and Lori's birthday gave me a good reason to dust it off. As my first job was in the restaurant business, I felt a commiseration with Hannah's borderline slavery to her business. Neville did only start out as wanting to help her out as a friend, but in the end started looking forward to his visits as she did.
Thanks for the review. I would ramble some more, but I still haven't written my Brawl drabble yet. o.O
~Jess
Blown Out Candle by The_Real_Hermione
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: Remus had never really considered the possibility of having a girlfriend. But is there a girl out there who can change his mind, who can crawl under his skin until her existence is what ties him to life?
Remus/Marlene
Date: 04/25/11 Title: Chapter 1: Blown Out Candle
I must say, Katrina, that when I first saw the summary and read "Remus/Marlene" I almost didn't click on it, because I'm a firm Remus/Tonks shipper. It's always been Remus/Tonks, tbh, but I do enjoy the occasional guilty pleasure of Remus being with someone else. It makes a nice change :)
I thought that the story's pacing was a bit...hmm. I don;t mean this in a bad way, but I kind of felt that while it wasn't rushed, at times, things went a little too fast or too slow. I also felt that since this was meant to be a romance fic, you barely focused on Remus, and spent more time on the other Marauders, which struck me as a little strange.
But they were just little things, and overall I thoroughly enjoyed reading this fic. I'm glad you didn't get Remus to reveal all to Marlene and Lily about him being a werewolf, because that would just spoil things, to be honest, and it's quite cliched to do that. I also found it fascinating that you didn't use the whole SexGod!Sirius cliche, even though I've got a soft spot for that cliche, since I Siriusly do love him :D
I also liked Remus' uncertainty about having a girlfriend. That's very Remus-like, especially because he was quite insecure about being a werewolf and everything. Peter was portrayed well, and not Bedwetting!Peter or Loser!Peter or Can'tGetGirls!Peter, because they're all my pet peeves at the moment. I think he was probably that "fat little boy" when he was younger, so I liked your take on how he became more attractive as he grew up.
I did hesitate upon reading that Sirius told the Marauders about kissing Alexa. I mean, girls do it, because they're girls, but sure guys just like to mind their own business in that ballpark? I know you did get Remus to say that that was enough in terms of details, but still, I think it's unlikely that Sirius would tell his friends about it, considering how haughty he could be at times (or, you could say, arrogant) he wouldn't really want to tell his friends about an embarrassing first kiss. But yeah. That's just what I think :)
I wanted to leave you a review as a thank-you for reading and reviewing every posted chapter of Checkmate within the space of a day. I don't know how you did it (I spent three weeks reading all of Alex/welshdevondragon's Thin Red Lines) but I'm very grateful for your reviews, because they mean a lot. So thank you, and well done, and I hope this review puts a smile on your face as much as your reviews did to me :)
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thanks so much for this long and detailed review, Soraya! I'm definitely a Remus/Tonks shipper, too, but this idea came to me, and it doesn't exclude Remus/Tonks, so I thought I'd write it.
I think a lot of your points are valid. To be honest, this was a very rushed story, because I knew I'd be busy and wouldn't have time to fix it up properly for a while and I prefer to finish things... if that makes sense... I'm now considering deleting it and re-writing it.
Perhaps I'll re-write it more as a Marauder Era fic, because I think you're right, I focus too much on the other Marauders for this to be purely a Remus/Marlene. In a way, though, I think Remus would be very influenced by what his friends thought and believed.
I'm glad you liked my characterisations of Sirius and Peter - I tried to make them a bit different. Particularly Peter, because I don't really like how in a lot of fics he seems like a loser or someone that the Marauders don't trust, even at Hogwarts. I think that's unlikely, because James and Lily (and Sirius) trusted him with their lives... so it must have come from somewhere. I wrote him like that because I think above all he admires and wants to be like James, and James couldn't get Lily so Peter was trying to prove that at least in some things he was better than James.
I'm not sure about Sirius telling about the kiss... (I've never been a teenage boy lol). I think Sirius is the kind of person who hides his own insecurity by being loud and telling people more than he should. So by telling his friends this, he knows he'll put them on the back foot because they'll be embarassed and he won't have to think about the fact that he feels he failed with girls or something like that. Which is why I had James looking at him, able to read him, because James knows that Sirius has this underlying insecurity. Anyway, I'll definitely think about cutting that bit...
Thanks so much for reviewing, and I'm glad you appreciated my reviews on Checkmate.
~Katrina
For Them by hogwartsbookworm
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Coming home late from an Auror assignment, Ron faces a conversation he didn't expect... at least, not for a few more years.
Just a fun little one-shot, dedicated to Lori (WeasleyMom), the Queen of all things Romione.
Date: 04/23/11 Title: Chapter 1: Romione
Aw, this was so cute, Lisa! This is in no way a SPEW review, but I just wanted to say that I love your Romione stories just as much as Lori's. They're lovely. :) And this one was great -- it really bridged the gap between Rose's and Hugo's births, while remaining clean and innocent. So ta for writing, and well done. By the way, are you going to finish Beauty and the Beast, or The Metamorphmagus and the Werewolf any time soon? I'd really like to know where it's going, so I'd love it if you could update :D
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thanks Soraya! I'm glad you reviewed, even if it wasn't a spew review. ;D And you like my R/H as much as Lori's? That's quite the compliment!
The next chapter in B&BoTMatW is almost done, I'm just too lazy to finish it. XP Man, Soraya, you've read that, too? Do you read everything I write? Not that there's anything wrong with that... >.> I'm just curious as to why. I don't think I'm the best writer on here by far... Oh, and clean and innocent is my forte. I'm glad you noticed it. =D
Timing by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: For Remus Lupin, Easter has always been his favourite time of year. It has nothing to do with chocolate, he tells his friends, and everything to do with timing...
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling or the Easter Bunny, but here's a little Easter gift for everyone at MNFF.
Thank you Natalie (hestiajones) for beta'ing this story and for being all round a ... a ... amazing.
Date: 04/24/11 Title: Chapter 1: Timing
Aww!! Squeeeeee!!! This was lovely, Carole. While I don't celebrate Easter, I have to say that I love it anyway -- even though I hate chocolate (looong story) it always makes me smile to see little kids going on Easter egg hunts or eating tons of chocolate. And I really liked how you tied Easter with Remus, and how this also tied in with the title. This was a beautiful fic and I really enjoyed it. Is it compliant with Apparently Asleep? And WHEN are you going to update that? I'm on tenterhooks on where you left off so please please please post the next chapter soon. And enjoy your Easter!
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thank you, Soraya. I celebrate Easter insofar as I buy Easter Eggs but that's about it. Uhm ... Apparently Asleep *shamefaced*. Okay, my plan, because I have at least 5 WIP's, is to complete some of the shorter chaptered fics first so I can concentrate on Lions and AA. Hopefully this means that once I get back to them, I will be able to crank out the chapters quickly. Well ... that's the plan. I also really want to get back to AA because I want to write about Bill - ha ha. Thanks for the review ~Carole~
What Money Can Buy by welshdevondragon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: Florence Delaine thought that all she needed in life was a wealthy husband. When she marries the violent Edgar Parkinson, she discovers that money cannot buy her happiness and determines to thwart her husband in the few ways she can.
Florence is a very minor character in my story Thin Red Lines and a more important one in another story of mine, Tooth and Claw. This one-shot takes place before Tooth and Claw.
Nominated for a best dark/ angsty story Quicksilver Quill. Thank you!
Due to the current MNFF glitch, I have changed the rating to 3rd-5th years BUT this is a 6th-7th years story, and therefore should be read as such.
Date: 05/17/11 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot
Alex, this was...disturbing, and definitely sad, but I think you did a brilliant job portraying domestic violence. This is in no way a SPEW review -- I spent more than three hours in an exam hall and I don't really want to think -- but just to let you know, this was a great oneshot. It was just so sad and dark and I feel very sorry for Florence. I think that in writing it, you reminded me about Florence, because I almost forgot the time Rabastan asked Viv for an abortion Healer in Thin Red Lines. Nice job, as usual, and sorry I didn't leave you a novel-length review, but I'm far too tired to think straight right now :)
Author's Response: Don't apologise for not leaving a long review- I've just sat through a three hour exam myself so know how you feel. This review cheered me up immensely. You can see why I found the first part of TiM surreal, given I'd just written this. Florence always had this backstory, even before I started writing "Tooth and Claw," so as disturbing and unhappy as it is, I wanted to write it. I was worried the reference to Viv would seem out of place to someone who hasn't read Thin Red Lines, but Fresca thought it read fine, so it's nice you noticed it.
Thanks for the lovely review- Alex
Zeitgeist by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: She was the Zeitgeist Girl – the face of the Spirit of the Age. Beautiful, talented and engaged to one of the most famous men in the wizarding world. Astoria Greengrass had it all – except now she was dead.
Oliver Wood, ex Quidditch professional, is the detective in charge. Tough and experienced, he can break the most hardened criminal, but how will he manage to prise information from the Malfoys?
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt #2.
This is also Carole of a house in London writing a mystery especially for Kara, a visitor to this fair land, because it's her birthday (and not because she's the judge).
Thank you Natalie (hestiajones) for beta'ing this story.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. She would probably come up with something far more original.
Date: 05/30/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 -Denouement
After reading DNW, I saw how great your Oliver is, so I had to read this one too. I have to say, this challenge has already got some good entries :)
This was really interesting. I'm sorry to say that I read the reviews before reading the story (my own fault) and that spoilt the first chapter for me, but as I say, it was my fault and no one else's, so I'm not complaining that much. Especially because I don't think the murderer was given away.
My mind has become hazy when reading whodunnits. I used to be great at them, and now I don't know what's happened. Maybe it's because I read so many of them, although I'm sure that would've made me better at guessing who, not worse. (I did guess that Stacey killed Archie in EastEnders, though.)
What I liked the most about this story was Oliver. You've given him a thorough backstory, a thick skin and there's just something about him that I really like. If he wasn't Daphne's or Katie's or Cedric's or Roxanne's (that would be in Jess's canon, obviously ;D) then he would definitely be mine. But that would mean that I'd have to wrestle several men and women to get to him. So maybe I might settle for James Potter. Even then, I'd have to hex Natalie and you first :P
Lovely story, good luck in the challenge and is this compatible with Until Death (Eaters) Do Us Part? For the most part, it doesn't seem so, but some bits are similar, like Astoria being pregnant, etc. Oh, and is the age gap the same too? Or did you stick with Astoria being two years younger than Draco or whatever?
~Soraya~
Author's Response: It's not compliant with Death Eaters but ha a similar tone to it - Draco actually loving Astoria for one thing. I didn;t specify an age for Astoria but the gap isn't as big as in my other stories. It was strange writing Oliver with a girl - ha ha - I really must get him back with Cedric. Thank you very much for the review. I still read a fair amount of whodunnits - probably the only things I do read these days (bar fanfiction), but I still found writing one incredibly difficult. ~Carole~
Who's That Girl? by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: As Head Girl, Lily Evans is used to the odd things that happen at Hogwarts. Very little fazes her – especially when it comes to the Head Boy and his gang. But when she discovers there’s a new girl at Hogwarts, who has entranced all her friends, she’s determined, along with James, to find out the identity of the mystery witch.
After all, since when has Hogwarts accepted American Exchange Students?
And just why has Peter stopped eating sausages?
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and if I was I wouldn’t admit it and put my name to this piece of silliness.
This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt # 1.
I also dedicate this to all those of you who love a good MWPP cliche.
Thanks Nat-a-tat (hestiajones) for the beta job especially in the last chapter.
Date: 06/01/11 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - Puella Revelio
Carole, this was such a lovely story. I think this is the second fic I've read with exchange students at Hogwarts -- I love most of my cliches, but usually they're not the exchange-student type. It was a great explanation and kind of made fun out of the whole exchange student cliche. I knew there was something fishy going on with Professor Fawcett! And it was really funny, when even Phyllida and Sonia seemed to fall for "Jill".
My only sort-of nitpick would be to add a mild language warning. Word like "shit", I think, warrant a language warning. It's not that I disapprove of swearing (although you already know that judging by my LJ entries -- hehe) but I just think it could do with the warning just in case. Other than that, good luck in the challenge! Are you doing the extra credit as well, now the deadline's been extended?
~Soraya~
Author's Response: OOH, thanks, I'd forgotten about the mild profanity warning. I shall add that now. I'm not used to lower ratings. Umm, I'm not sure about the extra credit. I have another mystery in the writing, but cannot think of anything for the EC. Glad you liked the story. It was really rather silly, but it made me laugh as I wrote it. Thanks for the review ~Carole~
The Lost Weeks by the opaleye
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary: Hermione sits and thinks of the boy who left and why she did not follow.
Tied in first place for the 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Poetry.
Date: 11/09/11 Title: Chapter 1: Her thoughts linger on those silent weeks.
*flails*
Julia, that was just gorgeous! Congratulations on such a well-deserved QSQ; a sestina is such a rigid form of poetry, and I thought you just did a beautiful job of it. I have no idea how you maintained the scheme of the endings of the lines, but then again, you are poetry laureate and all :) Congrats on the QSQ again!
~Soraya~
Author's Response: Thanks, Soraya! Yes, the sestina is very difficult to work with. I think all you PAers would hex me if I ever set it as a challenge... heheheh. I think the most difficult thing was choosing the line endings. Once I'd chosen them it was okay but it did take a lot of time and editing to get it right. I actually wrote the final stanza first and then worked my way backwards. The most difficult word was "shoes" and I very nearly changed it but the masochist in me wouldn't allow that! It was all worth it, though. I think this is one of the most satisfying things I've ever written just because of the effort it took. Anyway, I'm rambling now xD Thanks so much for the review! ~ Julia x
Hollow Soldiers by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary:
Date: 06/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
I feel like squee'ing, Jess, but it feels wrong, considering the subject matter(s) in this story. It was powerful and really heartwrenching, but explains some of the backstory in your other Lisa/Michael/other Ravenclaws story, Azure In The Snow, I think? Anyway yeah, this story was great. I will be SPEWing you later in the month, on one of your older works. I find that your stories are the ones I always want to review, which is probably why my monthly reviews almost always include one to you. Great story, and happy birthday Hannah and you!
~Soraya~
Author's Response:
Haha, I get what you mean by the squeeing feeling inappropriate. It's meant to be a stark reminder of the things that war and conflict drive us to do, as well as how it brings out the baser nature in us all. I remember Hannah asking me how I came to the conclusion that Michael was the most screwed up of the bunch, and this is the product of that.
I love when you review me.... not gonna lie. Even the cringe-worthy pages three and four, hehe.
Thanks for the visit, and I'm glad you appreciate the story (since enjoyment seems rather inappropriate, lol).
~Jess