[Report This]
The Dark Lord's Blog by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: What does Lord Voldemort do in his spare time? Well, that's an excellent question. Who would have known that the Dark Lord has a blog? (He also has a loyal following of readers, most of whom are Death Eaters and who post their comments.) Voldemort dispenses advice on everything from murder methods to germ protection to Power Rangers to shoes, and gives an account of the life of an evil overlord. But is he posting too much personal information online? And will Harry read it and find out more about the Dark Lord than Voldemort ever intended? Read and see.
WARNING: Extremely OOC behaviour from almost all.
RUNNER-UP in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Humour fic! Also nominated like 21 times, because apparently my readers are as insane as I am!
Date: 09/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Don't Try This At Home
how could this story ever be forgotten? its amazing, and ive read a few fan fics that referr back to this. i absolutley loved it, especially the reviews. they were hilarious.
Author's Response: Ahaha, oh thank you so much. And there are other fanfics that reference this one? I would kill to read one of those? Can you possibly give me a link? ^_^
Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.
It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.
Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.
Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".
Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Date: 07/17/12 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee
Last night, for some reason, I remembered this fanfic. And even though I haven't really been on or read any fanfic since May of last year, I logged in, and stayed up until 5 in the morning rereading this. It's one of the most memorable and fantastically done fanfics I think. Thank you so much for taking the time to write and submit such an awesome story (and the rest of them as well). Cheers!
The Ultimate Prank by Midnight_Unicorn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: When Lily Evans causes Remus Lupin to be humiliated in front of the entire school, he vows revenge. That's when he comes up with The Prank. It's guaranteed to make Lily's worst nightmare come true, if he can pull it off. And on his own...he probably can't. But with the help of Sirius Black and his Ravenclaw friend, well, anything is possible.
Daughter of the Dark Side by Lyra Lestrange
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary:
Lindsey Tonks appears to be a normal, almost invisible Hogwarts student, but underneath her is someone far from normal. What the world doesn't know is that Lindsey is the daughter of two well-known imprisoned Death Eaters, and has an identity she must hide from the world. Underneath Lindsey is a girl named Lyra Lestrange, a girl who is meant to be a secret forever. But will it last forever?
*Begins in GoF and follows the series through DH.
**Will appeal to fans of the Black family! Prominent characters are Bellatrix, Tonks, Andromeda, Sirius, and (to an extent) Narcissa.
Part Four Synopsis:
It's the summer after Albus Dumbledore's death, and the whole world is falling to Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Broken-hearted Lyra, unable to return to Hogwarts, must go into hiding with her family. It doesn't last long, and eventually Lyra is faced with a choice: join or die. Lyra's decision comes with many surprises, including a new ally who follows her to the final battle of good versus evil. While Lyra's path may seem clear, she finds herself torn between two sides for the final time, and in the end, despite tragedy and loss, Lyra accomplishes the impossible...which defies all of the agreements she and her family ever made.
Three years later, the fic has been completely finished! Enjoy reading it without having to wait for new chapters. Thanks to those who patiently waited and faithfully reviewed!
Date: 07/23/09 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 24- Aftermath
it might have been more realistic if bellatrix had sent an anonymous letter to the prophet, or maybe lucius malfoy since he was respected (which annoys me) other than that, great!
Author's Response: I understand the Snape thing isn't the most realistic, but Bellatrix was too busy escaping the scene with Voldemort and going into hiding to write to the Prophet, not to mention she had no reason to tell Lyra's secret since it doesn't really cross her mind, what with all the insanity :P And Lucius Malfoy doesn't know because he wasn't in the room when she spilled and isn't one of the Ministry people in on the secret. Thanks for the review!
Date: 09/14/09 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 34- Visit to the Village
yay!!!!!!! it was cute. cliche, but cute. their were enough real elements to make it believable, or muggle elements i guess. hogwarts is reality, not muggley. :D good job
Author's Response: Wow! I was just responding to a review when this one came up! Talk about good timing :) Anyway, I'm glad it was cute. It wasn't too mushy, was it? I think some cliches are good. Not too many. But a balance of cliches with original ideas is good in my opinion. I hope I've achieved that here. Thanks! Stay tuned for more of this coming in the next chapter :)
Date: 11/05/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
ehh, okay. i didnt really like this cahpter. the ideas were there. i dunno. i cant really figure out why i didnt like it so much. sorry. and why would draco have let her in? and the chances of narcissa telling her anything, let alone her secret thoughts..... not really stciking to the character well i guess. but still, update soon. :D its a good story over all.
Author's Response: Well, okay. There's not much I can do with that. But at least you're honest. Draco could have had several reasons for letting her in: for instance, he didn't want to end up dueling with her or he wanted to see how Narcissa would react (throw her out, contact Bellatrix, etc. just to throw out some ideas). In short, he didn't really see her as a threat because the Cruciatus Curse would get her in Azkaban. And he's a coward, as we learned in book 6 :P. As far as Narcissa goes...she wasn't sharing secret thoughts, she was sharing childhood memories. Lyra managed to crack her shell, find a soft point...you'll find out more about her later, but she has a soft side when it comes to her family (as we saw in the series with Draco). In this fic, she may soft sides for other people...you'll see.
Date: 08/11/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
I used to like how she always used Crucio, but I feel like she's beginning to use it to much. It used to be when she was really angry, or on the verge of a mental breakdown, you know really strong emotions, but now she using it whenever someone mildly irritates her.
Also, didn't moody explain this too her in 4th year how bad it was? I dont she has the concept, but she should at least have more of a concept of how horrible it is, even if she doesnt completeley understand.
Other than that, great story! keep it up :D
(I hope my reviews dont sound too critical or mean, I really do like this story a lot)
Author's Response: I understand what you mean, but she didn't actually Crucio Snape. She thought about it, but you're right, she wasn't in a huge emotional breakdown, which is why she didn't execute it. You're also right about her not getting how bad it is, even if it had been used on her. She doesn't really use her head when she's worked up in a situation. If I remember correctly, I don't think she uses the curse again for a while. Sorry if it seems out of hand, but her character is really changing! I'm glad you like my story and don't mind criticism.
Date: 08/25/09 Title: Chapter 33: Chapter 32- Brooms and Bludgers
yay! kinda boring chapter. it wasnt choppy, just nothing really exciting happened. fluff really. but still well written
Author's Response: Yeah, I get that it's kinda fluff...I thought the idea would carry over better but when I wrote it it didn't work like I thought it would. Once the next chapter is submitted, it may seem choppy since it's jumping around with different plots, but hopefully it works out. I think you'll like the next one more, as it has more excitement and less fluff.
Date: 07/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
but bellatrix wanted narcissa, lucius's wife to adopt the baby. im pretty sure lucius would have known about it
Author's Response:
Hm...that's a good point that I hadn't thought of. Since I can't change the story, maybe these things could make up for it:
1- Lucius hasn't necessarily seen Lyra, at least not since she was a baby, so he may not recognize her. However, her resemblance to her mother wouldn't fool him, so this isn't the best excuse
2- Lucius was very preoccupied that night at the Ministry and didn't necessarily notice Lyra was there, and didn't think to write to the Ministry when he was sent to Azkaban
Because of the way Bella asked Narcissa to adopt Lyra (I can't say how because it spoils something), Lucius didn't have to know Narcissa was asked to adopt her. However, I realized that since Lucius is in the family he would have known that Bella had a daughter. So...maybe it would have been better for Lucius to tell the Prophet but it's too late for me to change the story. Thanks for making me think, though!
Date: 08/19/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
congrats on being a featured story, thanks for the quick updates, cant wait for the next one :D
Author's Response: Thank you! I never really thought I would make the featured story. The next chapter should be soon, I'm guessing.
Date: 12/27/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
finally! i was getting kinda bored of the fluffy and awkward chapter after chapter of theo and lyra to the point where i stopped reading (sorry) but i decided to give it another chance again when i thought about how much i love this story when it started, and i was very happy to see that it had gotten darker (which kinda makes me feel like a horrible person). But one thing i noticed you did was that the characters didnt stay true to either canon or how you made them, and i was very pleased to see that they returned (like lyra's reactions thoughts, and theo's leaving). please keep it up! merry late christmas!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm happy you started reading it again. The story definitely gets darker, and I understand that it makes it more exciting :) Thanks again; hope you keep reading.
Trickster by Willow Rosenberg
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: After the disastrous events of the end of the Marauder's fifth year, a fuming Lily Evans decides that that arrogant James Potter and his friends need a taste of their own medicine. The straight-laced Prefect suddenly finds herself pranking her class's trickiest boys--and maybe even enjoying it. Coupled with a series of mysterious apology letters that Lily has begun receiving, it's bound to be an interesting year.
Winner of the 2010 QSQ for Best Canon Romance!
Date: 07/10/10 Title: Chapter 1: Study Breaks
Hey, I've been reading this story, but haven't reviewed yet. Actually, I just logged in simply to tell you just how much I love this story. Every day I come onto this site to the Most Recent to see if the next chapter has been posted. This story is really good and incredibly entertaining. Thank you so much.
Author's Response: man, hey, thank you!! that's high praise. i only have a few more chapters left in this one...but i'm thinking about doing a sequel!!
Sirius' Serious Squirrel Secret by The Scribbler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Charming, courageous, athletic, rebellious, and Hogwart’s number one heartthrob: a reputation Sirius Black has cherished since First Year. Unfortunately for Sirius, his worst enemy overhears the one little secret that could ruin his reputation in an instant. The Marauders have to stop their enemy before the secret can spread through Hogwarts. If they fail, the perfect life as Sirius knows it will end.
Warning: extreme OOC content and general ridiculous randomness.
Date: 10/15/09 Title: Chapter 7: Of Painkillers and Irritating Roaches
i really like this story. its really good, and i love how you did james and sirius. i didnt understand salt and pepper though. am i just being slow or missing something? but great job, keep it up
Author's Response: Thank you so much, darkchocolate! The salt and pepper comment was just another of my dorky jokes. Sirius was being sarcastic saying that James forgot to get salt and pepper for the potion (as if they were cooking a meal). Most potion ingredients are rarely heard of materials or strange things you'd never usually want to cook (like eye of newt), so salt and pepper was just me making fun of that.
Date: 09/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: Scaredy-Cat Black
this is wonderful. it makes me laugh so hard. but if sirius transforms into a dog, and dogs chase squirrels like there's no tomorrow, then wouldnt he have gotten over it by now? i dunno. the story is hilarious. :D keep it up
Author's Response: Hm... I never thought about him being a dog. Lol. Good catch! Thanks for reading. :)
Grant Me the Serenity by Apollonious
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Lord Voldemort has arisen. Cedric Diggory is dead. In the summer between Harry Potter's fourth and fifth years at Hogwarts, a character who so far has only been in the background must make a choice between what is right and what is easy.
Date: 08/16/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
good job, very well written, but if she liked cedric and cho so much, and was so mad at her mom, and wanting Voldemorte to die, why would she tell on the DA?
Author's Response: A lot changes in eight months. Parental pressure can be very hard to resist.
A Birthday Surprise by Blue Phoenix
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Blaise Zabini turns thirty, but is less than happy with his progress in life. While busy running away from Pansy’s surprise-party, he encounters a birthday surprise he did not at all foresee.
Written for the Life Begins at Forty Bookbasilisk Summer Challenge.
Date: 08/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Surprises
this was really good, really wish this wasnt a one shot, it be cool to see this progress.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the story. I wonder how it ends, too. No doubt there will be angry shouting. ;)
Midnight by SpankingHalo
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Three years after Voldemort won the war, Hermione Granger is a fugitive concealed in the ruins of Hogwarts. For three years, she has sent up signals for the Order, and hoped someone would answer. And at last, someone has - the last person she wants to see... D / Hr
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - A Dead Geranium
yay! new chapter. you've done a really good job with creating hermione's character. its really how i think she would be if this had happened in the books. Draco isnt so much, but we don't know everything about him yet, so i guess ill just have to wait for the next chapter to find out what the past 3 years have been like to cause this abrupt character change. good job though. keep it up :D
Date: 09/16/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One - A Dead Geranium
very well written, its really quite captivatinig. i am looking forward to seeing what happnes
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it.
A Girl's Best Friend by Ogygiasylph
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Draco is looking for an engagement ring for Astoria, but is it really what he wants? Ginny will help him find out...
Date: 12/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: 1. Pearls
this is a really cool story. i hope you continue it.
Dagger of Doubt by Grace has Victory
Rated: 6th-7th Years • Summary: Because Tracey Davies wants nothing to do with her brother Roger, she avoids Ravenclaw House. But will she survive in Slytheirn? And is survival even what matters?
Date: 12/07/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Boy who Surpassed
hey, so sorry. I have been seeing this show up when I click on most recent, but it always looked kinda boring in the info, but today I gave it a shot, and it was really good. keep it up, this story is way better than a lot of them out there. it's a really good idea, and you execute it well. I feel really bad for Tracey, but I don't see why she cares so much that her brother gets to dance with Fleur. She has a date (which she didnt think she would get) and she really likes the guy and can be herself around him instead of conniving. It actually makes me kinda like Smith (I hated him in the books, probably becuase JK said I was supposed to, hehe). Anyways, keep up the good work. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks for taking the trouble to review! ~ I'm glad you feel for Tracey's problems. To answer your question: Tracey is prejudiced against Roger. She is so jealous of him that EVERYTHING he does annoys her, even when it doesn't do her any actual harm. Her perspective on life is by now completely lopsided. ~ I don't like Z Smith much either, but I've tried to provide a reason for his attitude (he is creeped out by his family's obsession with death so he wants to rebel and live). He and Tracey have a lot in common, but it's all the wrong things. ~ The story is finished so I'll be updating quickly. Tracey's behaviour will test your loyalty, but I hope you'll be with her to the end. Best wishes, GhV