The other Malfoy boy.

I loved his conception, the 'courting' Grace and Lucius shared (with Lydia's instigation). It was so inherently Veela. Grace was the dominant female, and Lucius was putty in her hands. You also painted the society they moved in through their dialogue and through Grace's disdain. It was heady; I couldn't help but be drawn in. As early as with Lucas's parents, the story's title was applied. Grace being Volition and Lucius being Vacillation. Of course it was the former that held sway. No blame on Lucius. He was as thread to needle. Though, he still deserved looking on from afar at his better son, instead of being beside him.

I love his love for his mother and grandfather and I love his dignity and grace. His vacillation stems from these latter two, ingrained deeply in his character by his mother. Dignity is what made him beautiful in Lucius's eyes. Grace, in every sense of the word, is what made him come to Lucius. Dignity and grace is what made him conflicted after his talk with his father. Would he remain untainted, or would he ignore the 'woman and her child' mentioned by Lucius? That was it, wasn't it, because he certainly didn't owe, nor was he raised with, allegiance to his Malfoy heritage.

Enter Charlie. Classic complementing of characters. He and Lucas does each other good. Charlie is the one Weasley brother I've only encountered fleetingly. How you've fleshed him out is so natural, Anna. It's also endearing the way Aunt Muriel dotes on him and vice-versa. Which brings me to: like the pureblood elitists' circle, you've drawn the Prewett farm and it's tranquility and charm distinctly, leaving nothing to be desired.

And as to this budding friendship, you have made Lucas and Charlie intelligent and compelling men. I can't wait for the next chapters. I wonder what they'll say to each other next. Their banter and the friction before their camaraderie was established is as riveting as the storyline. Kudos and kudos, Anna.

nice one, hallie! i've read this before it got deleted, and I wondered what the Galleon was. A special portkey that also bridges time? Tell us in the next chapters! I notice that all of you here aside from me had made your time-trinkets transport Hermione not just to another time but to another place too.

i can't wait to see the trials. You know i've had some funny visions of it thanks to Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, hehe. ^_^

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! This story has been fun to write. The trials especially. I\'ve always had this vision in my head of what the trials would be like and it\'s great to fimally have a reason to write about it.

the beta speaks: so nice, isn't it? just enough intrigue and suspense brewing to promise a whole lot more? ^_^ can i even review? well, too late now, im too fond of Pooja, hehe

Author's Response: LOL, Pauie, you\'re sweet! Thanks for reviewing my story!!! :)

Nightmare is reminiscent of the pace and style of Matarse, which I love. No expositions here, though, just food for the senses, simple and unfettered by pomp, making the elements even more involving and vivid.

You've also turned this dream into a subtle and spot-on character study. For instance, the eerie breeze... a small thing, but something Hermione can't control, and which surprised her, and we know Hermione likes being on top of things, prepared so she can be unperturbed. No one can be warned from a breeze, however. The same way they had no way of being warned about the trap they'd walked in on in the Ministry.

Ron being the only other person in the dream is telling, needless to say. ^_^

~Joanna

Hello, Camille.

Now, this is a tad late; it's been half a year since you posted this fic. But better late than never, eh?

I wrote a First Chapter to Book 7 myself for the Forum Challenge... I think it was for the New Year Extra Credit... so my curiosity was piqued to read how you did. Something in me agreed that it would have been nice if the last book picked up right where The HBP ended. You captured the post-funeral atmosphere of the Hogwarts Express like a brilliant photograph. I saw it in my mind's eye, how the train rattled loudly externally, but went past the countryside like a ghost because of the silence within. It's also nice to see it from the perspective of the trolley lady. Your paragraphs need some slimming, that's all. They are too chunky. It's best to keep paragraphs slim, especially in the beginning, so as not to intimidate readers.

But you've shown her fierce love and care for Harry with finesse and through this picturesque battlescene. I love the patronuses vs Dementors match. And I agree that nuw255's idea about Ginny's patronus change is excellent. You've used it well.

*grabs the cookies* *mutters: 'Stale!'*

I see you didn't heed some of the clarifications I advised (hint: incest), but it worked anyway. I think it made this story sparkle more.

Good luck for the challenge, Sparksie! The rest of my comments you know already. *pokes*

Author's Response: To clarify is to kill, Luci (see, I can come up with annoying nicknames too!). And I made those cookies myself. Ungrateful wench... *mutters*

Technicalities:

He had already broken in unnoticed to the cellar. Why not go ahead and use the passage then? Since when was permission needed? I thought 'you three and Dumbledore' were the only ones who knew of Sirius's Animagus state. What's with the 'old habits die hard' part? Maybe Hilda used to give them food in their Marauder days Hogsmeade romps? Still, didn't they all romp on four legs then to keep Remus in check?

I also thought... what with the evidence of Peter's finger and the wreckage of that unfortunate Muggle Street, that the Flumes would have sounded the alarm at the mere sight of Sirius-- in his human form, too, not Animagus, because it was a secret, right?

Back to the subject of friends: through the actions of the Flumes and the Fat Lady, even though I think there are plausibility issues, you did succeed in highlighting how the Marauders' tragedy caused a ripple that didn't begin and end in Harry's becoming an orphan, but in loss of fath and betrayal. There are parallels beneath the surface and between the lines.

Wonderful! Should be his epitaph! Would delight kiddies! ^_^

Author's Response: It would certainly delight this kiddie! (Though the headstone would have to be pretty darn huge.)

Jennifer, welcome to MNFF and three cheers for your first story!

It's wonderful. You have Hermione's mindset down pat. This is a rather long chapter without a dialogue, but it got to the end without being burdensome like most stories starting with back-story and character thoughts.

PS: Have you joined the forums yet? I'll look out for you there!

Wow. *fans self*

Katie, this story warmed me to the tips of my toes.

I love Hermione. Most of my fics have her as the heroine. As I opened HTS, I was scowling, because my Hermione isn't supposed to be weepy. But then the scowl turned into an awed expression, because you gave my Hermione a wonderful new aspect. *grins at proprietariness* We perceive her as a tenacious character, after all, but here this dent in her 'strength' only emphasised all that she has gone through.You've made her depression feel real and plausible. She was not weepy at all, only heart-rendingly sad. The kind of sadness that doesn't dissipate in tears. And then of course, you resurrected Hermione's resilience in her decision to battle her sadness alone. That's what she did, really.

I love, love, love the ending! Another 'but': but I thought they'd meet back at home, when Hermione has come back to stay. Still, I pictured the scene in the Hungarian Ministry, with all those happy and 'aww'-ing audience. *sighs happily*

~Joanna