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Draco's Trick-or-Treat by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Three-year-old Draco goes trick-or-treating for the first time. His mother takes the opportunity to teach him some lessons and Malfoy family values that she believes will be important to her son later in life. This depiction of Draco is VASTLY different from the version of him that I write in "The Dark Lord's Blog."
Ridiculously short one-shot.
Date: 10/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!
Well, it's high time that I read this. Especially with Halloween coming on Wednesday and all. [/weird bat smilies]
ANYWAY. I loved the ending. So sad. And yet so cool that you show how impressionable young minds are moulded depending on their environment and parents.
Also, as I have nothing better to do than read the old reviews, I do think that sounded a lot like Hermione, and I was actually quite surprised at the fact that it's meant to be your sister.
0_0 5'2"? And I thought that I was short! (I'm fourteen and just barely 5'4". More like 5'3.75" but that's too long to say.)
I do like this quite a lot. Great job, Schmergo! (Incidentially, an anagram of "Schmergo" is "Ogermschs." An anagram of "Katie" is "Atkie.")
- Katie
P.S. So sorry about PP. I don't know what to tell you if the mods are nitpicking the plot... maybe email the mod rejecting you and explain that it's all relevant?
P.P.S. I'm being a "Renessaince Witch" (not a scary one) for Halloween. Woot?
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had lots of fun with this story... it couldn\'t be Hermione, because how would Draco know she was a Mudblood as opposed to a Muggle-born? *Shrugs*
WAY TO RUB IT IN, KATIE! ^_^ I am actually five foot two and a *half*. That is very important to me.
Date: 10/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only!
OK, so first of all, the bat smilies mentioned in the first paragraph of my last review were deleted. So, here they are: < (-_-) > < ^_^ >
Gleep! I didn't mean to rub it in! *is terribly terribly sorry*
Very good fic. :) (No spam, remember?)
- Katie
Author's Response: Aw, they\'re adorable! I\'m glad you liked the story!
Draco, The Babysitter by mgle_teacher
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: After a potion goes awry, Draco finds himself as the newly appointed babysitter of one Hermione Granger, age: 4. As if that wasn't humiliating enough, his wand is confiscated by Potter and he is forced to do everything the dreaded Muggle way.
Note to my readers: This story has been on hiatus forever due to a variety of factors. I do hope to finish it some day, but don't hold your breath. Also, this is NOT a Dramione nor will I change it to be one. Lastly, I am in the process of rewriting this story so bear with me.
Date: 10/23/07 Title: Chapter 1: Exploding Cauldrons
Well, I’ve read this fic about a million times, and I’ve never reviewed! :O So, here I am, reviewing Chapter One.
First off, congratulations on Hermione and Malfoy being perfectly in-character. Most authors wouldn’t be able to pull of this type of fic without making them terribly OOC, but you’ve managed to keep them IC. That definitely deserves noted.
I do like how you gave the reason why Draco was at Number 12, Grimmauld Place straight off the bat. That keeps the reader from going “Huh?” and allows them to move back into what’s happening at that moment in time — namely, Hermione and Draco brewing the potion.
Ouch. Hermione hitting Draco overhead with a book made me smile a bit… and it was, miraculously, in-character (remember how she slapped him in PoA?).
I do like how you used three asterisks to break from the scene we were in and flash forward to where Draco and Harry are talking. That way we get to hear Malfoy’s version of what happened.
I absolutely LOVED the twist where Hermione got turned into a four-year old. That made me laugh, even though this was kind of a prologue.
My only nitpick is Harry. I’m not sure that he’d take away Malfoy’s wand and have HIM look after Hermione… but other than that, this fic is perfect. P-E-R-F-E-C-T.
- Katie
Author's Response: Wow! What an awesome review! Thanks! Yes, Harry is totally OOC, I feel! Lol. Nothing much can be done about that now but I will try to keep him more IC in the future =] Thanks for your review.
The Progeny of the Pure-Blood by Sunny Christian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Holy Horcruxes, Harry! All of your BOOK SEVEN questions answered! Harry, reeling from the events of his sixth year, must now begin the hunt for Voldemort's Horcruxes. To his dismay, everyone in his life is keeping things from him! During his search, Harry uncovers his enemys' darkest secrets, as well as the secrets of his own past. The killing curse leaves no mark, so why does he have one? Why did it take Hagrid twenty-four hours to get Harry to the Dursleys’? His phenomenal adventures continue, and he will not emerge unscathed. Who will survive? Will Harry defeat Voldemort? And whose side are Snape and Draco Malfoy really on? If you like it, please review it! COMPLETED 6/27/2007!!!
Date: 07/20/07 Title: Chapter 34: Epilogue
I loved this story! It was a good take on what Book 7 could have been. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you, my dear! So glad you enjoyed it, and hope you\'re off enjoying the real thing now too! *Sunny*
Starts with Goodbye by Ron x Hermione
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
Ron and Hermione have been married for awhile now. They are even expecting their first child soon. They have yet to find a name for their bundle of joy, a boy; even though they have looked through a plethora of baby book names.
But when a house-elf shows up and tells the two that Hogwarts is in danger by Death Eaters and even Voldemort himself, what will happen?
Harry is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher there, but will he finally be able to break the trend of having a new teacher every year?
Will he fight to the death?
My version of the Final Battle, and what will happen.
Date: 07/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Terror At Hogwarts
That was sad but beautiful! You're a really good writer, I've read some of your other stories and they are fantastic!
Author's Response: Thanks! ~Lindsey :)
Date: 07/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Terror At Hogwarts
That was sad but beautiful! You're a really good writer, I've read some of your other stories and they are fantastic!
Author's Response: Thanks! ~Lindsey :)
Black as Snow by Celestial Melody
Rated: Professors •Summary:
Bellatrix and Tom Riddle—two of the most enigmatic characters in Harry Potter—have puzzled writers and readers alike since their equally horrifying introductions. Why did Bellatrix believe she was Lord Voldemort’s most dedicated and favored follower? Why did the Dark Lord indulge a woman he could have squashed like an insignificant bug; why did he allow her to continue in her ‘delusions,’ if, indeed, they were delusions?
I believe that these allowances are not simply coincidences. Why should the most feared dark wizard of all time cater to a pawn? There must have been prior connections between the two to create this bond.
In “Black as Snow,” we glimpse a snippet of Tom Riddle’s life at Hogwarts, his (hypothetical) introduction to Bellatrix, and, afterwards, the special bond the witch and wizard shared … then, and now.
Created for the wonderful rita_skeeter in MNFF’s Ravenclaw Christmas Exchange, 2006.
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Snow-Doused Fire
Nicely done. I've never read a Tom/Bella fic before, so this should be interesting...
I liked how you started off with the dream, as opposed to reality - and was Tom writing in his infamous diary, or was that just a piece of parchment?
Also, I like how you portrayed the romance thus far: Lust, not love. I don't think that Tom Riddle could ever love, but I'm sure that as a teenager with hormones he could most definitely lust.
- Katie *clicks the 'Next' button*
Author's Response: Hi Katie,
Thank you so much for the review! =) I\'m really glad you liked how the story started and I hope to continue it soon. I just realized (after rereading it myself) that I do want to continue it.
And, yes, that was the \"infamous diary.\" =)
Oh, and definitely \'lust,\' not \'love\'. Tom, bless his cold heart, would never be able to love, as JKR has reiterated time and time again. And so. =)
Thanks once again!
~Julia
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 2: Through Showers of Crystal
I don't think I've mentioned this yet, but you're absolutely BRILLIANT at descriptions of all kinds. You go into the meticulous details of things, and that really helps me get a clear mental picture.
Tom saving Bella was an interesting twist - and a great way to remind us of the age difference.
I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out and what the plot's going to do next...
- Katie
Author's Response: *grins* Thanks again, Katie; sometimes I feel like I go a bit overboard on the descriptions, but what can I say? I love \"showing\" things. =)
*sighs* As for Tom saving Bella, I\'ve no idea why he did that. I think I did at the time, but ... oh, wait; I think I\'ve got it again. =D
And I\'m looking forward to the same thing. *grins*
Thank you once again!
~Julia
Voldy's Deathpants by Deathpants, Mind_Over_Matter, wendelin the wierd, cmwinters, Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The Order of the Phoenix and the Death Eaters are locked in battle over a highly important magical artifact known to most as Voldy's Deathpants, in bold letters like that. However, they go about battle in a, er, highly unusual way-- a Quidditch match!
Probably the silliest thing that's ever appeared on this site, featuring highly OOC behaviour.
Deathpants is a team of writers consisting of Mind_Over_Matter, cmwinters, wendelin the wierd, and Schmerg_The_Impaler. Our story was written in Round Robin format. This (and our deranged minds) explains its randomness. Enjoy!
The insanity of the Deathpants has gotten to the mods! This ridiculous story WON the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Humour Story!
Date: 08/11/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
That. Was. HILARIOUS! Seriously, I'm still laughing. My favourite part:
Moody swooped around the pitch, normal eye on Nagini, who was balancing on her belly to ride the broom, like a caterpillar on a twig. Nagini hissed at him several times, and Voldemort let out an unusual laugh.
“How dare you!” Harry snapped angrily. “And I demand a FOUL! Parselmouth on the pitch!”
"Takes one to call one," Voldemort said to Harry in Parseltongue. "And by this, I mean both the name and the foul."
Harry pondered this thought. "True, that," he replied submissively, also in Parseltongue.
I'm not sure why, but that line ALWAYS makes me laugh. Seriously... the people who wrote this (Mind_Over_Matter, cmwinters, wendelin the wierd, and Schmerg_The_Impaler, respectively) are the funniest people on the planet!
-Katie
P.S. I forgot to ask... what is "Round Robin format"?
Author's Response: KATIIIIIE! The bit about her riding on her stomach on the broom was by the lovely and talented Mind_Over_Matter, but I came up with the later part, with the \'takes one to call one\' and all that. Sadly, it actually took a lot of thought. Round Robin format is when one person writes and the next takes over, and it alternates. So if I wrote \"Once upon a time\" and you wrote \"Schmergo wrote a terrible story\" and then I wrote, \"In which Katie got disemboweled with a cheese fork\" and you wrote \"and her ghost haunted bad writers for all of eternity\", then that would be a round robin! --Schmerg_The_Impaler
Harry Potter and the Serpent's Eye by Marauder9744
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A 7th year fic in which Harry, Ron and Hermione search for the remaining Horcruxes and ultimately battle Voldemort. Post HBP; in canon, no slash. H/G R/Hr
Chapter 25 is up; Chapter 26 is with my beta!
Date: 07/26/07 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20 - Secrets Revealed
I really like your version of Book 7, it seems realistic, unlike other versions I've read...can't wait for Chapter 21!
Author's Response: Thanks a lot, harrypotterfangirl21, I really appreciate the review! Glad you enjoyed :)
Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Gin_Drinka
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: “You sing to me every night that heaven is somewhere over the rainbow. Granddad told me today, when I asked him, that heaven is after the stars. Everybody tells me that’s where my father is and…I miss him. I wish I could be with him. And if that means being a million light years away from earth, then that’s how far I want to be.”
Harry's family is missing him. A heart-wrenching conversation between Ginny and her fatherless daughter.
Nominated for a Quicksilver Quill for Best Dark/Angst. Thank you!
Date: 08/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
*sobs*
That was beautiful! It really made me cry.
I especially loved the description of Lily... how she was so afraid to cry and show emotion. It was well done.
Just one question: Did Harry die in the Last Battle, or somewhere else?
This was a great tear-jerker! Great job!
- Katie
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! Well, I wanted to leave it open for iterpretation, but that is how I personally imagined him dying. But whatever fits you best, that\'s how it happened. (-:
Thank you again for a lovely review. Sorry for making you cry, even though that was sort of my intention when I wrote this: Relating to people.
Mia
Voldy Therapy by PadfootBaby
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: A psychiatrist unexpectedly shows up on Voldemort’s doorstep one day and claims to be his therapist. A series of frightening and quite disturbing subjects are soon covered, including sunbathing, treacherous followers, unicorns, names, the hippie era, evil bunny rabbits, and hair. After each session, work becomes increasingly frustrating for Voldemort, until he realizes that the therapy has taken away his love for killing things. He angrily attempts to return to the life he used to have, but torturing Harry Potter and his dorky little friends doesn’t seem quite as fun as it used to...
Culminates in the final... er... battle? between Lord Voldemort and Harry.
Nominated for the 2007 Quicksilver Quills! R&R - and have fun!!!
Date: 08/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: An Unwanted Psychiatrist
I absolutely LOVE this fic! It's hilarious. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'ll update ASAP.
Lord Voldemort and the Deathly Hallows by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Lord Voldemort made a deal with someone who even he considers superior, and if he doesn't fulfill his side of it, then he'll be mortal again!
I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff house, and this is my submission for the Deathly Hallows prompt in the New Year's Challenge.
Although this story's a one-shot for the challenge, I may add more chapters after the contest is over.
EDIT: Dude! This story came in second in the "Deathly Hallows" prompt of the New Years' Challenge! So, let's do the "2nd Place Dance!" (It's a lot like the Cha-Cha slide.)
Date: 08/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
So we meet again!
*imitates Voldemort and pauses dramatically*
I really liked this story! It's definitely different from your usual wackiness (I'm referring to "The Dark Lord's blog" here), but in a very good way.
I especially liked the description of Mr. Deathly. I could really see him in my head! (Kinda creepy, isn't he?)
Anyway, great story! Can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Author's Response: Thank you! Mr. Deathly has a bad habit of turning up in LOTS of my stories (not just fanfiction, but real life stories as well; he\'s become quite the diva) and he\'s glad you think he\'s an interesting character!
What Lies Within by j4fun
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: This story is post HBP. The funeral service has ended and students are headed home aboard the Hogwarts Express. Most everyone is still stunned over the events of the last several days. Our trio is no exception. Harry would really prefer to close his eyes and just disappear for a bit. Unfortunately, he doesn't have that luxury. There is so much more for him to do, so much more for him to figure out. Time is running out and things have never seemed so near impossible. Harry has to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes, and then face his greatest nemesis. Can he protect those he loves? Can he protect himself? Can he meet his ultimate destiny?
While we wait for the release of Deathly Hallows, I thought it would be fun to see how far my own imagination would take me. All of it, of course, has been inspired by Rowling's beloved magical world.
Note: No DH references are included. Chapters 1 - 25 were written, with 1 - 20 posted before the release of DH, and I delayed reading DH until the final chapters were written.
Enjoy.
Date: 08/08/07 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25: The Endless Night
Ooh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to see how your version of the Final Battle plays out!
On a side note, you're a very good writer, as i cried when Hagrid died, something I usually do not do.
Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. You may shed a few more tears before it is all over; but I hope you\'ll be pleased with it in the end.
The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: It's the sequel to "The Dark Lord's Blog," guys! (And girls... and, I don't know, gender-neutral people and centaurs and walruses and parameciums and shrubs and stuff.)
Several months have passed since Filch came into possession of Voldemort's magical powers, and he has taken over Hogwarts.
With Filch serving as The Dark Lord Snoogerblossom, the position of Hogwarts caretaker/janitor is open. Seeing as Voldemort wants his magical powers back, he and his extremely attractive new sidekick, Mungo Phelps, go undercover at Hogwarts, with Mungo posing as a transfer student and Voldemort posing as the new janitor. Wacky high-jinks ensue.
Join Voldemort as he tries to get back his magic, kill Harry Potter, steal Gryffindor's sword to make a shiny new Horcrux, romance Minerva McGonagall, discover Sirius's secret to becoming a chick magnet, and swallow a teaspoon of his pride to mop up spills the Muggle way and wear an unflattering uniform! WARNING: Extremely silly and very out-of-character.
If you haven't read "The Dark Lord's Blog," well, what are you doing? GO READ IT NOW! Just click on my author name and you'll be directed to my chaotic author page, which lists all my wacky stories.
This is on hiatus, dudes. Ooh! But it was twice nominated by nice (and insane) people for the Best Humour Fic award in the Quicksilver Quills thingy!
Also, some wonderful loony nominated Mungo Phelps for Best Male OC, making him if possible even more conceited! (No one had the heart to tell Mungo that he was designed as an example of a terrible OC.)
EXCITING NEWS! "The E-Journal of an Evil Janitor" is now continued as a Twitter blog! Go to Twitter dot com and find thedarklord666. Voldy's waiting!
Date: 07/20/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.
Hello, sir, I was reading your blog (which I found very insightful, threatening, and grammatically correct) and decided to try to contact you for Death Eater sign-ups. I am (most regrettably) a Muggle born, but I fully support you ridding the world of all
Mudbloods who don't support you, and killing that annoying Harry Potter (incidentally, my screen name is only what it is as a cover, I figure no one would suspect me of being a potential Death Eater if I seem to support Harry Potter!) Please reply back to this comment
when you get the time so I can join your ranks.
P.S. My email address, should you want to contact me through that, is voldemortrules7@yahoo.com. And yes, that is a real address.
P.P.S. And no, I am not mocking you in any way, shape, or form.
Author's Response: Oh dear, I\'ll be sure to tell Voldemort about this at once!
Date: 07/20/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.
Actually, I WAS being serious.
*awkward silence*
*crickets chirping*
So please inform Mr. Dark Lord Voldemort Sir that I would like nothing better than to join his ranks.
Author's Response: Ohh, okay! I\'m Voldemort\'s secretary, so I\'ll put a call through to him ASAP! (*Cough* I just tried to reassure the previous reviewer that you were kidding in case she was an Auror! Wouldnt\' want to be arrested, now would you? *Wink*)
Date: 07/20/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Enter The OC. Dramatically.
No, I suppose you're right. It would suck to be arrested. Thank you, then, for alerting Him for me.
Author's Response: You\'re most welcome.
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Not A Loyal Slave In The World
You know, Schmergo, I really think you're a silly review magnet.
*gets vivid mental image of a robot Schmergo that has Post-It silly reviews stuck to it*
Since everyone's already pretty much ssaid everything funny about this chapter (which is pretty much every sentence, now that I think about it), I won't do the same. Just know that you're hilarious. KNOW IT. OWN IT. PWN IT IF YOU SO DESIRE.
Oh, and could you pretty pretty pretty please make a reference to me somewhere? (I'll give you Tastycakes! (They're DELICIOUS! I'm addicted.)) Or, you know, I could give you rock candy, which made me adopt Southern and British accents (I kept alternating) for hours on end once...
Gah. I sometimes wonder about my sanity.
- Katie
Author's Response: Hehehehe, and you\'ve seen my robot Schmergo in my sig. You know I absolutely have to put this in the silly review thread.
OMG, I love Tastycakes and rock candy! I\'m sure there will be a \'reviewer participation\' part later in the E-Journal. In the meantime, Lily\'s conscience in \"Love A Duck\" is named Katie. It\'s a running joke about how she has a writer\'s conscience, which is like a beta reader and points out her grammatical errors. ^_^
The Pied Piper of the Black Forest by butter_beer_drinker
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. -G. K. Chesterton
Can the hero slay the "dragon" that hunts his little girl and haunts his nightmares?
This is submitted for my final assignment in Professor Talons DADA: An Introduction to Dark Arts class.
I am proudly saluting you with the sword of Godrick Gryffindor.
A small warning, this story terrified me (and my beta) and made me cry. Read it with caution but please read it.
Date: 10/25/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Nightmare that Follows
ANGST OVERLOAD.
Thank you. This is just what I needed. Angst. (No, I'm not being sarcastic. I seriously wanted to read something angsty.)
My question: was the Erkling scene real at all? Or was that entirely brought on by his mental disorder?
I did find myself shuddering at the parts where the Erkling was trying to eat Catherine... man, those things are CREEPY! Especially the way you write them.
The ending was absolutely fantastic. It tied in to the little line earlier about that, but sadly the roles are now reversed: Harry, the child; and Catherine, the adult.
The lullaby that you slipped in was perfect, as well. It almost made that section a songfic, but not quite...
Basically, this was one of the best angsty fics I've ever read. :)
-Katie
Author's Response: Katie,
Thank you for the review, I\'m glad youdecided to check it out. That is the whole part of the stoy, it was supposed to keep you guessing since she has a scar on her arm. Everytime I read it I change my mind as towhat happened, that yes it did attack and that he escaped to the Burrow with her and that in RL it ended there but in his mind it continues and his little girl is eaten. Then other times I think that in RL his little girl just had a horrible dream and his dilusional mind creates the rest and that the marks on her arm are just a birthmark (which is what MY little girl has and was the inspiration for the marks.) I had to research for an animal that might attack a child and couldn\'t beleive it when the HP lexicon had one.
Obstruction of Justice by BeautifulDreamer07
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Hermione and her two best friends, Harry and Ron, are on a trip with their sixth year Herbology class to Bodmin Moor. While searching for magical plants, Hermione stumbles on a door in the ground that leads her and the boys to the crumbling mansion of the time-travel obsessed wizard, William Rashleigh. After her encounter with Rashleigh, Hermione finds herself trapped in a time where magic is feared, witches are hunted, and the punishment for being able to do magic is death. Can Hermione survive The Salem Witch Trials?
A/N: This story is not for the faint at heart. The descriptions of death in the fic will be somewhat graphic and not suitable for young and impressionable readers.
I am BeautifulDreamer07 of Gryffindor House rising up to the answer the prompt. A Shift In Time, in the Spring Challenge.
Date: 08/13/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - Dear Mr. and Mrs. Granger
That was really good, but also really sad. I do wish Hermione would have come out alive, but I understand why you had her die.
All in all, I really did like the story. It was definitely an original idea, which I applaud, but it was also a compelling read.
Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! :D That makes my day!