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You Smell! You Stink! But, I Like You, I Think... by MartiOwlsten
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Mischief happens; for sixth-year Gryffindor, Andran Audierus, it's somewhat expected. Clumsiness also happens, and for New student Marti Owlsten, it's more of a way of life. Put these two together, and they may end up in over their heads in trouble... and toothpaste. Insults, ransom notes, magical dares, pranks... will they make it to their seventh year in one piece? **This is a post-HP7 fic, by about ten to fifteen years... but that doesn't mean their won't be familiar faces. Lots of humor, butn also a good plot line, too**
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 14: The Masquerade: Part One: Dates
Update soon! I need to know what happens next =]
To Be Or Nott To Be by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Theodore Nott has never had much respect for anyone but himself. But after being summoned by Lord Voldemort to join the Death Eaters, his world turns upside down, and he finds himself questioning everything, including his own values and beliefs. Darkish, but with surprisingly light and fluffy bits, kind of like my Dad's pancakes or a truly hideous dress that my Mum once bought for me.
Written by Schmerg_The_Impaler from Hufflepuff House for the Gauntlet's 3rd run. Whoot!
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Adventures of a Self-Centred Cynic
This is really good. I'm used to yor humor fics so this was weird for me to read... but i liked it anyway XP
Author's Response: Why, thank you! This was one of my first fics, so I'm glad you liked it... weird though it is.
How Predictable! by HPwizzzard
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The Marauders are having their first Divination lesson, and they quickly realize what a waste of time it is. In order to liven things up, Siriusmakes a few predictions without the aid of tea leaves. Obviously, he's no Seer, because there's no way James and Lily will ever get married, Peter will become an evil minion, or Remus will fall for Sirius' baby cousin... right?
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: How Predictable!
This is great fic!
-“The fans’ll love it,” said Peter wisely.: one of my favorite sentences ever!
Things Aren't Always Black and White by padfootsgirl1981
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary:
Add together one ladies' man, one Quidditch player, one werewolf, and one soon-to-be traitor. Then, mix in one imaginative idiot, one fiery redhead, one clever Ravenclaw, and one blonde artist. Stir counterclockwise until trouble occurs, and you are dealing with one of the best-loved group of friends in Hogwarts history. Follow the story of the four Marauders and four equally troublesome girls. See them deal with their first encounters of love, sorrow, heartache… and Death Eaters. How will these future Order members cope with the ordeals that life throws at them? Will love blossom in what was once thought a highly unlikely place? What do you do when the person you care about most in the world doesn’t seem to notice you at all? Will a well-kept secret shatter the foundations of a seven-year friendship? Follow the lives of these friends through their last year at school to the dramatic final battle with Lord Voldemort two decades later.
Warnings are for later chapters, and any sexual situations are very minor.
Chapter Twenty Two: "The Snakes Strike" is in the queue. Excerpt:
Perfume filled his nostrils as Emma walked passed and Rosier’s gaze lingered on her bare, pale legs as the group headed outdoors. “Don’t you just love summer?” he inquired of Regulus, a hungry sneer lighting his face.
“This is ridiculous,” Regulus announced in a furious whisper, “we’re never going to get them alone!”
“Have faith, Black,” commanded Rosier smoothly. “Girls are well renowned for their desire for girly chats. I’m sure they’ll slip off the shackles of their chaperones soon enough.”
Date: 07/08/09 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 20 - The Curious Incident of Two Wet Gryffindors in a Dormitory: Part Two
I really like how you didnt make Peter the worthless charachter, because most fics do and that annoys me so much.
I hate Debbie so much! But I really feel bad for Kirsty and Sirius.
Oh No, Nott Again! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Our boy Theodore Nott thinks he’s signed up for a position in the Department of Mysteries. Little does he know that he’s been roped into something a bit more… deathly.
Rollicking fun, dry commentary, suspense, and heavy doses of surrealism with the Grim Reaper and company, including a surprise guest at the end. Written for the Gauntlet challenge by Schmerg_The_Impaler of the grand house of Hufflepuff.
Technically a companion piece to “To Be Or Nott To Be,” but who’s counting? It also stands on its own just as well.
Looks like the judges got drunk again, because they were insane enough to give this story Second Place in the gauntlet. Somewhere, all the famous dead writers are rolling over in their graves, but I, for one, am feeling very squeeful at this undeserved reward! Thanks, judges!
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
What a creepy fic.... (I mean that in a good way!) =]
Author's Response: Why, thank you! That is PRECISELY what I was going for! ^_^
Hogwarts Musical: Chamber of Secrets by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Anyone heard those rumours about a Harry Potter musical?
It better be just like this.
No, but seriously, it's a spoof of the songs from Disney channel's infamous "High School Musical," telling the tale of JK Rowling's infamous "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." (I was dared; I took the challenge.)
You will never see the Basilisk the same way again.
P.S. You may also want to check out my Beatles and Phantom of the Opera spoofs. Just click on my username and it'll take you to my delightfully chaotic author's page.
Twice nominated for Best Poem in the Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
SCHMERGO!
I showed this spoof to my sister (who isn't a big fan of HP or HSM) and she loved it!!!
We sang all the songs like 10 times...
oh and i just wanted to tell you that the main reason i signed on to MNFF was to review your fanfics. CONGRATS!
I hope you do that HAIRSPRAY spoof!
~TAMI & MIA~
Author's Response: OH, WOW! Thank you so much! This review means a lot to me, because I love writing spoofs and I don't get many reviews for them. And I'm REALLLLY flattered that you'd join to review my fics! That is a fantabulous username, by the way.
The Cause by Pussycat123
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Marty Price works for The Cause, which involves several campaigns and petitions on a weekly basis. It has become common knowledge within Hogwarts that if you see her coming towards you with a clipboard, you should turn and walk the other way. Or perhaps deny all grasp of the English language. And if this isn’t eccentric enough, there’s also her obsessive written observations of four boys in her year, which will one day make a rather interesting book ...
Remus Lupin, meanwhile, has always been a little different, too. Poor, sweet Remus Lupin is, to the casual observer, the picture of a sensible, hard working student. However, he has three friends who have done more for him than anyone knows and they have done this because of his troubled past, troubled present and troubled future. Why the gloominess? Because Remus Lupin just so happens to be a werewolf.
So what could these two possibly have in common? And how can their stories possibly connect?
Runner-up for the 2008 Best Marauder Era QSQ.
Date: 07/21/09 Title: Chapter 1: The Plight of the Pixie
Im reading this for the third time, but I didnt have an account before so now I can review!
This is one of my favourite chapters. I really like how Remus noticed that Marty was looking at them and then you switched to her POV.
i have to go so Ill review the rest later.
Author's Response: Well wahey, first of all welcome to MNFF as an official member! Secondly, thank you very much for the support, I'm so glad you like this fic. I hope you have fun re-reading ... =)
Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.
Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.
Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.
Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.
But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Date: 06/12/09 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: In Which Lily Gets, If Possible, Even More Irritated
Discworld refrence!!!! Gotta love Discworld...
I love this story. Do you think you'll update it sometime?
Author's Response: Thank you! I really don't know if I'll update-- I want to say yes, but I have SO many projects!
Dursleys, Meet The Wizarding World by Ghoul In Pajamas
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: The Dursleys have left Privet Drive and are in hiding with Hestia Jones and Dedalus Diggle. Hestia and Mr. Dursley are constantly fighting, Petunia is avoiding the wizards at all costs, and Dedalus is trying to make them all the best of friends. Meanwhile, Dudley discovers he has an interest in Harry's world, but his parents are less than pleased when they find out.
Date: 06/20/09 Title: Chapter 8: A Weasley Welcome
Finally!!! I thought you abondoned this...
Fred and George were amazing and I cant wait to see what happens at the Longbottoms.
Author's Response: definitely not. i've just been way too busy for my own good ;)
Date: 08/02/09 Title: Chapter 9: The Wall of Questions
Wow...Dudley must be very confused!
I'm glad he feels sorry about teasing Harry about Cedric!
Waiting to see how Vernon and Petunia will interact with Augusta Longbottom...
Author's Response: I'm sure he is! Thanks for reviewing! And, I love your username, by the way! It's so funny!
Long-Distance Extendable Ears by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years • Summary: Fred is dead.
But that's just the beginning! Because one of George's ears is up in heaven, and the other is down on earth...
Oh, the possibilities!
Written for the Next Great Adventure challenge on the MNFF beta boards. I am Schmerg_The_Impaler of Hufflepuff House.
Twice nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts Story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards!
Date: 01/04/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One and Only
*Sob* How touching!
But seriously, this was really great! I never really thought about what happened to fred after he died until i read this. Good job!
Author's Response: Awww, thank you! This is actually my favourite fic I've written, so I do love getting reviews for it!
The Arcane ScoRA and the Wand of MacArt by OliveOil_Med
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Nominated for the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Post-Hogwarts Story
When Albus, Rose, and Scorpius are put on the train to their first year at Hogwarts, their parents have simple hopes for them. Namely to have the normal, boring school years they never got to experience themselves. But sometimes, we ask too much of our children.
When the school becomes plagued by invasions of wild beasts, three different students from three different houses follow in the footsteps of the generation before them, but strive to achive the one thing none of their predesesors ever could: DON'T GET CAUGHT!
Date: 07/17/09 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 Still More Questions
Finally they're acting like kids!
Update soon, This is is really good story!
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it!
Date: 07/09/09 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 The Great Investigation
Interesting...
I'm curious to see what happens next
Author's Response: Well, I certainly hope you'll continue to read and review.
More Than A Game by Hypatia
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: “Lord Voldemort has never had a friend, nor do I believe that he has ever wanted one.” -Dumbledore, HBP, ch. 13
Dumbledore was rarely wrong, only once did Lord Voldemort desire a friend. It started out as only a game…
First place winner in the Color of Love Challenge.
Nominated for Best Romance Between Other Characters in the 2008 QSQs!
Date: 01/08/09 Title: Chapter 1: More Than A Game
This is an amazing fic. I never thought i could read a fic about Voldemort falling in love and nearly cry at the end. Well, I did. This explains so much about why tom hates love so much.
You Alone by Arial Felchem
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: What kind of a person walks out on his best friend and the girl he loves? Ron is at Shell Cottage, a few days after leaving Harry and Hermione, pondering the consequences of his actions after abandoning his friends.
Date: 03/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Wow....
I'm speechless. This is amazing! I actually like that it is in second person point-of-view.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! : )
Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.
It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.
Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.
Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".
Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Date: 04/05/11 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 15: I Now Pronounce You Totally Bonkers
Schmerg! You're back!
And 5 new chapters since I last checked?!
I read them all, and I'll review them as soon as possible.
Oh, BTW- Thanks to you, I found out about the amazing A Very Potter Musical. So, thanks for that!
Author's Response: Helllooooo there! Itt's lovely to get reviews for this! And I am so glad you discovered AVPM. By the way, Tyrone, Emma, Jordan, Ted, and Ivy all have facebook accounts (and Haley's getting one, too) so you can friend them if you're on facebook (or me... I think I'm the only person with the middle name Schmergo, and my first initial is M.)
The Ultimate Prank by Midnight_Unicorn
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: When Lily Evans causes Remus Lupin to be humiliated in front of the entire school, he vows revenge. That's when he comes up with The Prank. It's guaranteed to make Lily's worst nightmare come true, if he can pull it off. And on his own...he probably can't. But with the help of Sirius Black and his Ravenclaw friend, well, anything is possible.
Date: 01/30/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: The Date
Update soon!
I wonder what Remus did to her.
Author's Response: Update coming soon- I promise!!!
Voldemort: The Psycho Dark Lord of Hogsmeade (Sweeney Todd Gone Potter) by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The final installment of my set of Broadway musical spoofs about Voldemort's life!
This is Stephen Sondheim's brilliant musical, Sweeney Todd, but drastically warped and twisted by me. If you ever wanted to hear a song where Voldemort tries to encourage Fenrir to eat various Potterverse characters, this is the fic for you.
My other two spoofs about Voldemort, those of Les Miserables and Wicked, can be found on my profile. I've also got spoofs of Phantom of the Opera, High School Musical, and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Enjoy!
Date: 05/05/10 Title: Chapter 1: SWEENEY TIME
I saw Sweeney Todd (Tim Burtons version) for the first time on Saturday with my friends and it was amazing! Luckily, I never saw the Brodway show so I didnt really know what to expect, which made the end really shocking.
Johnny and Helena were really good, and I love Tims styling.
Anyway, I love this spoof/parody/whatever you call it XD
The lyrics fit very well into the original format of the songs and are really fun to sing. I cant say what my favorite is(they are all so good!) But the one that made me laugh the most had to be Mayfly and Blooming Rose, because I for some reason imagined Voldy in his bald snake form, singing in the movie Joannahs high sweet voice XD
I'd love to send you myself singing one of the songs if I could find a way to make my mike less suckish...
Albus Potter and the Year of the Badger by Sly One
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
His fears? Flying...his own wand...fitting in...sticking out! His best friends? A passionate fire-breathing cousin, and a cool, aloof Death Eater's son. His destiny? Anything but ordinary!
Join Albus as he experiances his first year at Hogwarts and begins the journey out from under his father's collosal shadow, if he can survive it of course!
Meet the new Tenacious Trio, Albus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, and Rose Weasley
Date: 01/30/09 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 Greater Expectations
Nice Chapter!
Rose and Scorpius seem very similar to Ron and Hermione in the way they act with each other...
And poor Albus, afraid of heights!
Author's Response:
The main difference between rose/scorp as compared to ron/hermione is that scorp can hold his own intellectually with rose. It's more of two equals butting heads while ron's comebacks were pretty much relegated to "oh yeah?" status LOL! These two can butt heads over a topic for days and not exaust the arguments...Ron and Hermione were unable to butt heads for more than a few sentences before Ron left his depth LOL! Albus is pretty much afraid of a lot of things, but his fear of flying is his most ironic. Harry Potter's son is afraid to fly what a scandle!
SLy
Date: 01/30/09 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14 Quidditch Tryouts and Other Tragedies
I agree Albus....totally not good =[
Author's Response:
Yeah you know James is going to rub his nose in it!
SLy