Hello loves, I'm Allie! You've obviously reached this page through grave error or through curiosity. I would urge you to turn back now, but unfortunately, it seems to be too late. =)
About me: I am a writer and an avid reader here on MNFF and other various sites as well. I am an ex-beta reader, drabbler, artist, duelist, TWSer, SBBCer, and my recent project is running the Gryffindor Review Crew with my fellow crewbee Claire so please, take pity on a poor author and leave a review. Updates may be slow in coming because SOMEONE deleted all my notes for my stories off my computer and plot lines has been lost and tangled hopelessly beyond repair. However, there may be some poetry and one-shots headed your way soon.
You can find me on the boards under the pen name dragonwings, so give me a PM if you want to talk!
Please read and most importantly, REVIEW! I love reviews, don't you? I get such a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. =)
Very cute story! I like the idea of having dance classes for Muggle studies because it keeps it out of the "never going to happen realm"
LOL we girls DO have it harder though... We're in high heels AND we have to dance BACKWARD! At my school, dance lessons are unfortunately mandatory, but I did have fun when we got to learn the Latin dances so it's nice seeing them put to good use in an excellent story such as this one! Good job!
Author's Response: I would\'ve loved having dance mandatory at my school! Dance is my main sport, so I would\'ve aced anything my stupid P.E. threw at me. LOL Thanks for the review! :D
OMGodric--what a great poem!
I really want to go 'AWWWW!' but this does not really strike me as an 'AWWWW!' poem, and I'm slightly scared that it will go Severus Snape on my sorry behind and lash out at me for awwing at its sadness. /insanity.
I really enjoyed this poem. I do love reading and writing poetry, yet I often forget to go seek these poems out when I'm in a reading mood. The repetition of the line, "As I lie dying" really enforced the sadness of the general mood into me, yet in a way, I think that it also gave the poem a bit of bitterness to it.
As for the speaker, I thought that it could either be Severus or Lucius. Both men have the potential to act nobly (in fan fiction, I guess more than canon) and at the end, despite their bravado, be bitter at the way it ended--badly.
My favorite stanza had to be this one:
Now I am finally able to see.
There was no reason to fight.
I gave up my life–my soul.
I know I cannot be redeemed.
For me, those lines really cinched the mood.
Overall, I think that you did a fantastic job with this poem! It is so touching and it nearly brought a tear to my eye! Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I think your review was as long as my poem. :D I\'m really glad you enjoyed it though, and thanks for taking to time to write such a nice response. As for the speaker, it was Bella. I think it says that in the summary...but I could be wrong. Anyway, thanks again. :D
Oooh! I like this one! It's a bit original, Harry/McGonagall... I was truthfully expecting an OC at first, but I guess McGonagall isn't too old.../ rambling. Anyways, keep writing! I look forward to any future works!
~Allie
Author's Response: Thank you! The prompt actually came from a friend and I thought she was crazy until this idea got under my fingers! Thanks for reading.
Zsa Zsa= teh coolest name ever!!! :)
Hey Schmergo--just checking out your story!!! I absolutlely love it so far! I'm usually not fan of post-hogwarts but now since the seventh book's our i figure that i should just let it go and read only le best post hogwarts! Anyways I'm a little hyper right now, as you may have noticed but I'm only leaving a little squeal review now... be back later with something a little more concrit! (Hopefully!)
~Allie
Author's Response: I\'m not usually a fan of Post Hogwarts either, but I had this plot bunny when I was twelve and doing an RP on neopets (good times!) I\'m glad you like it, Allie!
Uhhh, woah. Scary./ random weird half of review
Sooo, what to say other than like everything else you've ever written this story is practically perfect in practically every way! I love Ted's character in particular, he's so adorable and I don't know whether I want to adopt him or snog him. :) Same goes with Tyrone--he reminds me very much of Sirius in a way and Emma reminds me very much of Lily in a way. Anyways, I'm going to keep reading--good job!
btw- Zsa Zsa is still the coolest name ever. LOL
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! I think Ted is adorable, too...(that\'s why the summary mentions that there\'s a suspiciously adorable werewolf!), and it makes me happy that you like my characters. I think Zsa-Zsa is a cool name, too. I had to use it in at least ONE of my stories!
That was (bad pun alert) "delicious" to read, Schmergo! That was sooooo good! I'm sorry to hear that E-Journal of an Evil Janitor is on hiatus, but this fantastic little one-shot will be enough to munch on until the next chapter! (yes, I know, puns are a bad thing ;D or at least for me) /hyperandhappy!allie
Author's Response: Thank you! That means a lot coming from you... you\'re a great writer. The puns are okay... mine are far worse, I believe.
This was such a sweet story! I love how you made the plot sort of like a Cinderella tale, but pulling it back down to earth before it became too cheesy. The ending was good too--have to admit that by the end I hated Healer Sedgwick as much as I did Umbridge! But Hermione finally gets what she deserves! Great story!
This story is simply amazing! It is so touching that I really can't think of a thing to nit-pick!
It hurts…
It hurts…
Hold my hand…
Please.
That really made me cry, I'm not kidding. It was bloody brilliant!
I do want to know why didn't they ever trust Draco? In some fics, authors choose for them to fully embrace Draco when he switches sides, but here you have him portrayed kind of like an outsider. What prompted you to do that?
Anywhos, excellent story (horrible review >.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I\'m so happy you liked the story. :D
Hmm... I\'m not quite sure what made me portray him like that. Maybe I\'m not the kind of person who looks on the bright side of things? :p I\'ve read a lot of Draco redemption stories, and though I\'ve always loved them, it was hard to believe that Harry and Co. would accept him so easily. This is a redemption story. Draco did change sides. He did help defeat Voldemort. But his new \"friends\" didn\'t trust him completely. Severus Snape had changed sides too - and I think only Dumbledore really trusted him. The other adult members of the Order might\'ve trusted him slightly, but only because of Dumbledore, and I think there was always some doubt in their minds about Severus. So when he \"killed\" Dumbledore, no one had any trouble labelling him the enemy. I think I took that, and changed it a little and used it in the case a Draco. :)
wow, this is really good! The imagery is spectacular, and I must admit that I laughed a little at your summary "it is believed that she used her fingernails..." lol good job!
A very cute story! I like the set up of the opening chapter, but there are a few mistakes that I think you should know about.
1) “I hope you have a good time! Have lots of fun and don’t let them forget the Weasley’s!”
‘Weasley's’ shouldn't be possessive, but plural, as in more than one. For example, another way to phrase it would be— "don't let them forget the Weasley family." You made the same mistake a few lines down with the word "Malfoy's" and repeat it again throughout the chapter.
2) “Thank god were going to be in Gryffindor..."
‘Were’ should be we're as in "we are". Not the past tense of was.
3) Professor McGonagall was sitting in the headmistresses chair with, Professor Snape, potions teacher (“he’s getting on a bit isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out.) Professor Hagrid, care of magical creatures teacher and many others that none of the Weasley’s knew about.
Few things wrong with these two sentences. ‘Headmistresses chair’ should be ‘headmistress’ chair’. There is not more than one chair, there is only one and it is the headmistress’. Secondly, ‘potions’ should be capitalized because it is a subject. Example: the word ‘history’ is capitalized if it is used as a class subject. “I am taking World History this year.” The same goes for Care of Magical Creatures. Thirdly, …teacher (“he’s getting on a bit isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out. / Should be: …teacher (“He’s getting on a bit, isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out. There’s also a punctuation error—there shouldn’t be a comma between “with” and “Professor” and you should insert a comma in between “bit” and “isn’t”. Another thing—with would be a bad word to use in this sentence because it is implying that Professor McGonagall was in a chair with Hagrid, Snape and a bunch of unnamed teachers! Lastly, you have the Weasley’s mistake again. So really, the passage should be more like this: “Professor McGonagall was sitting in the headmistress’ chair alongside Professor Snape, the Potions teacher (“He’s getting on a bit, isn’t he!” John so kindly pointed out,) Professor Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher, and many other teachers that none of the Weasley children knew about.
Hate to be so nitpicky about these things, but I felt that the mistakes were very noticeable and affected the story too much to be ignored as simple typos. Correct grammar is a key element to a good story and since I’m assuming that this is a chaptered story, I thought that I’d better point these things out to you now so that you can hopefully keep them in mind as you write the rest. I would also recommend getting a beta to look over your chapters before submission. Many of the best authors overlook mistakes because of the speed of their creative flow and simply just skip over them accidentally.
All in all—good story set up, and nice characterization of Weasley/Malfoy prejudice!
Author's Response: Thank you for reveiwing my story. I fully appreciate your corrections. Are you a beta reader? However, as kind as you are, if it got submitted then it can\'t be that bad! Thanks again!
Author's Response: I have sorted out these mistakes and will edit them (if i can) in the story. Thank you again and I hope you enjoy reading.
Wow--this is a great story! You've got to wonder about those kind of kids in the wizarding world who don't grow up with the best situation and don't really know their care takers that well-- who would they confide in? I love the teacher, he's perfect and I wish that I had him!
This is adorably sweet, Claire! *huggles*
Sooo, to make this a non-squee review. Hem hem.
I only spotted one little glitch in this story and I'm not sure if it's on purpose or whatever, but you switch from first person to third person in the seventh? paragraph where you go from "I etc." to "James wiped the sweat from his brow..." It really threw me off there for a second.
I like how you have James getting all nervous when he's talking to Harry! It's so sweet and it's a very James thing of him to do I think. Every time I think of James thinking of being a father, I can see him getting all excited and overly nervous because I think for him it was a big step in growing up (no matter how much he may have acted like a happy child around Harry!)
The Wormtail thing killed me. =( I almost hate it when authors mention Wormtail in fics in this context because its like "OMGODRIC KEEP THAT LITTLE TRAITOR OUT OF THIS HAPPY SCENE!!!" for me at least, lol.
Overall, you have such a sweet story here, Claire and you've done a great job with it! Everything except that little person change is grammatically correct and the mood and tone is just right! *huggles*
~Allie
Author's Response: Claire isn\'t here right now, so her assistant is taking over, due to her time in a spa. *huggles* Claire loves yor review. She squeed when she saw it. :)
*sighs* Stubby, you've gone and done it again! This poem is so eerie and just...wonderful.
blink-blink, click-click, scratch-scratch... these repetitions really give the poem a kind of "united" disjointedness. I really wish that I could convey the kind of deadened sense of mind that you give Mrs. Granger here. I've done what she has so many times *rolls eyes* yet here it is very creepy. Well, no, not creepy, just very sad and kind of macabre in a way.
I wish I could say more, but my poetry critique skills are obviously not up to scratch. This poem is definitely one of my favorites and I can't even think of a single thing to critique! FANTABULOUS job!
~Captain Allie!
Author's Response: :D Thanks, Allie. I find that repetition brings a haunting feel to stuff. *grin* I\'m glad you liked it so much.\r\n\r\nI love reviews....
Hello, Kat!
So, I must say that I really liked this story. =) You've got some great Sirius/Remus chemistry going on here, but you keep it away from the smuttiness that usually happens in slash fics.
I think that you've done a great job with setting up Remus and Sirius' relationship--you have some subtle hints here and there that suggest it, and then finally! The truth comes out!
The party scene where they were sneaking alcohol was one of my favorite parts! Sirius just wouldn't be Sirius without alcohol, would he? :D
“Yes, she does seem to be calling me. Well, we must go tend to her — we just cannot let her drawl onto the rest of the people in the house. It’s terribly boring to listen, don’t you think?” Sirius quipped as he exited the room, brushing himself, and making his way down the stairs. ----- Best line ever!!! I had to laugh!
I'm a bit worried about Remus, seems to be drinking a lot. *raises eyebrow* I'm always wary when authors do a drunk!Remus, or a depressed!Remus but you managed to pull it off wonderfully!
All in all, this is a great fic! You kept it far from the land of wham, bam, thank you man while keeping it spicy! lol Great job!!!
~Allie
Author's Response: Thanks Allie! This is the end of drunk!Remus, no worries. It was simply something I was trying out. I don\'t know how I feel about it. I made it clear, though, that it was *not* normal. You know? Just a Sirius thing. lol. Thanks again, deary! Awesome review :]
Aww, young love and angst!!! How cute! lol.
So, I warned you that I wasn't going to make any sense at all sooo.... ummm that was really good... I'm really really tired... I might come back tomorrow and review this properly... and yeah--good job!!!
I really like this poem. The imagery is really amazing and rather kind of "seductive." Especially, I thought,
"Legs so smooth and long
were clearly never meant to
tempt me to
oh! heavenly ecstasy!
stroke them like
the surface of the smoothest marble statue.
They were meant for others
surely."
I loved that part of the triad. One thing that I thought was off however, was the switch from the two talking to "TALKING." First, he's talking about suicide, then--??? The stanzas that you have in between are all right at sort of easing into the new thought, but they could be better in my humble opinion. *is embarrassed* The last stanza is my favorite!!!
"A touch here, a kiss there
dreams go beyond words
we lie together
my darkened Lily and I."
That just blew me away when I read it! I think that this is a great poem and overall I think it deserves five stars!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review! I agree that the change is rather sudden, but it had to be done! Thanks!
This is such a fantastic piece of work that you've got here! It's absolutely flawless in terms of grammar, spelling, characterization. It's so sweet, yet at the same time heart-breaking. But it's melancholy makes it all the more perfect.
"Saturday, February 26, 2005
Potter,
My son is not a thing.
D. Malfoy"
This is my all-time FAVORITE line! It made me crack up when reading it, it's so Malfoy! Without even using facial expressions or actions, you still manage to capture his personality perfectly!
One of the things that I noticed that I really enjoyed however, is that the letters aren't all "pour out your heart, so sad, so touching." If they were, that would definitely be overkill so the short, kind of. (how do I say this?) sparring? letters were great.
The ending almost made me cry!!! It's a sad, but nice twist. The two of them, old men, remembering when they were young and had all the time in the world... I bet that they were kicking themselves in the end for not choosing each other sooner. I liked the Albus/Scorpius thing you've got going on too.
Well, overall, great story! This fic is absolutely wonderful -- just like all your others. I must admit that I love your writing; I'm addicted =)
Great job! *huggles*
Allie
Sorry, I meant in the last review that I was sort of kicking myself because I wish that they had gotten together sooner. I read over my last review and realized that Harry didn't want to rush into a relationship.
Oh! I loved this one-shot! It was so cute! I especially loved the part where Angela keeps saying, "He cannot match with Sirius!" Awww, cute!drunkeness! lol This is really quite an adorable one-shot and I think that you did a great job with the drunken ladies (lmao, when they found the firewhiskey, lmao that was one of my favorite parts!) and Sirius is rather IC--although one must wonder where the kid went....
Great job! Sorry for the horrible review...
~Allie
Author's Response: Hey, thanks! Angela was cute, wasn\'t she? I am like this, when I am drunk - I am not sure about cuteness, but I am usually quite stubborn. But I saved her the morning that usually follows my own drunken nights - the hangover! Very kind of me, huh? The drunken ladies part was fun to write - happy drunkards who happened to find a bottle of the best firewhiskey. By the way, James and Remus were ready to babysit the kid, if that meant that they could lay their hands on the said firewhiskey, so Sirius left him there and went alcohol-hunting. Unfortunately, Angela got there first... Oh, and what does IC mean?
Ahhh! I am INCREDIBLY tempted to read the next chapter, and I shall--later. Because now, I need to write your review along with three others, write out a Review lesson plan, catch up on GRC house points and go to defense class! So for now I'm going to have to settle for reviewing!
This story has a fantastic set up--but I'm guessing that the first part was added later =P You certainly handled the prompts far better than I did, your descriptions are so detailed and vivid! Your writing hooked me hard and you have no idea how hard it is not to just go onto the next part! >.<
I only have a tiny little critique--(Alex’s mother, Anastasia, had been Abraxas’s younger sister; she’d married into the Bonnet family of France (a pureblood family nearly as old as the Malfoys), though Alex had lived in Britain, attending Hogwarts as a Ravenclaw before leaving in June of 1979 and entering the war … on the side of the Order of the Phoenix.) Why a double parenthesis? WHY!?!?! lol I just think that the first set of parenthesis isn't needed.
I wish that I had more concrit things to say! But what can I say? This chapter was wonderfully written, I'm DYING to read the next part and you're a wonderful writer who can do no evil! =P Great job!
~Allie: Captain of your Friendly GRC! =P